Thankful

Thankful

This morning, while reflecting on all that I have to be thankful for in my life, the phone rang, and it was a dear friend catching me up on his recent eight-day stay in the hospital for complications from a serious surgery. He had lost a lot of weight but was gradually regaining his strength. He shared with me how much more each setback made him appreciate the health he once had and that he expects to regain after this cancer surgery and related treatments. I told him I “dittoed” that life lesson since it was five years ago this week that the words Trust Your Journey took on such a powerful meaning in my life as I struggled with my own cancer recovery. We both agreed that it was a time to be thankful yet mindful of all the lessons of the journey.

Thanksgiving week is such a treat and a wonderful time to turn your mind toward all that is good in your life. So often we get hung up on a few situations that might not seem to be going our way or on things that are out of our hands. This week, open your heart to all that is good and the opportunity to share these blessings with others during this very special time of year.

“Nothing purchased can come close to the renewed sense of gratitude for having family and friends.”
--Courtland Milloy

Water Under the Bridge

Water Under the Bridge

It seems that just about every week people share stories with me about past unpleasant experiences that they’re holding onto for dear life. These “tales of the past” most likely change every time they relate them, but the endings are always the same--they’re not talking to or associating with that person because of what was said or done many years ago. Unfortunately, the shunning is usually directed at family members or even good friends that said or did something that was considered offensive. It’s regrettable that those incidents aren’t confronted immediately since many times the meaning of a person’s words or actions is misinterpreted by the offended person. However, even if you haven’t “cleared the air” in the ensuing years, I can assure you that time will indeed heal the great majority of wounds, if only you’ll allow the mending to take place. I believe there are many paths beyond the hurt and strain in any relationship.

There is no better time than today to move beyond your “hold ups” and let those hurts move on down the stream of life like just so much water flowing under a bridge. If we don’t let go, our minds will gradually make these perceived offenses appear much worse than they really were. Often the person toward whom we bear a grudge wasn’t being mean-spirited at all; it was merely a slip of the tongue or an ambiguous statement or action that was misinterpreted. Always try to understand that the other person might’ve been in a bad place at the moment those unfortunate remarks were made. Forgiveness can be face to face, long distance, or just a mental release of the incident. Life is short and well worth whatever effort it takes to repair a relationship. There’s no substitute for letting unpleasant experiences in our past become just so much water under the bridge.

“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”--Anonymous

Trust Your Journey Journal

Trust Your Journey Journal

We recently added a new Trust Your Journey journal to our product selection. Below is the entry page of each journal. Enjoy!

Journals are reflections in words of our journey through life. This book will eventually be a story about you. The story will unfold when you put pencil to paper and write about events and emotions that are shaping each and every step of your journey through life. You’ll occasionally flip the pages back not only to remember but also to learn and understand. The epiphanies will completely overwhelm the peaks and valleys of yesterday. At some point you’ll become aware that you are on a very unique journey that seems to be enriched by the people and events, good and bad, that cross your life’s path. A journal is not about reliving your life; it’s about personal growth through a profound belief that your mission was custom-made by you. The end result will be a realization that the only action required from you is to Trust Your Journey.

The Bookmark

The Bookmark

On a recent trip I was seated next to a man who was engrossed in a book. At one point he closed it, lay it on his lap, and the part of the bookmark that was exposed caught my eye. It read “We the people,” and it brought me back to sixth grade where we had to memorize the Preamble to the Constitution. That led to thoughts of key events in my life since that grade-school assignment.

In the last couple of weeks I had reconnected with my sixth grade teacher via Facebook. After 41 years it was a great treat to have the chance to thank her for having been such a wonderful teacher during a crucial, formative part of my life. This lady is on a short list of teachers who made a measurable impact on my journey. She was a true educator who taught with a firm hand yet a kind heart. Every student in her class seemed to feel as I did.

I realize that times have changed, but school teachers are still invaluable because of their many opportunities to become an important part of any child’s journey. They play many roles in our lives but none more important than educator and life coach. With their wisdom and experience they usually see more potential in us than we are able to see in ourselves at that stage of life. More often than not they help shape the general direction that our journey will take. The rest is up to us. It’s not a coincidence that so many of us relish the opportunity to thank our mentors for having cared enough to set us on the right path while giving us some of the tools needed to make it a fulfilling journey.

“That is the difference between good teachers and great teachers: Good teachers make the best of a pupil’s means; great teachers foresee a pupil’s ends.”—Maria Callas (1923-1977)

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Fresh Cut Grass

Fresh Cut Grass

“Let’s be honest—there is something special about the smell of fresh cut grass! I don’t know why but it is always in the middle of winter that I truly start to look forward to the aroma of spring and the memories I have of cutting grass.”--me

I wrote these words in a journal long ago. Back then, I found great comfort in expressing my thoughts and feelings on paper, and it truly helped me to work through life as I was growing up. Looking back at some of my early journal entries, it’s clear that I’ve always had an inner awareness and love of nature. Nature continues to uplift me no matter what type of day I’m having.

If you’ve never kept a journal because you’re burned out from all the writing you had to do at school, or you’d rather spend your time enjoying the electronic age, I urge you to reconsider. Make a commitment to try it for a week or two, and you’ll be rewarded immediately by learning things about yourself that come out unexpectedly. Years later, as I’ve experienced in rereading my journal entries, you’ll get a true revelation about how much you’ve changed as a person--usually for the better. It’s an exercise in personal growth that isn’t practiced nearly enough nowadays.

I Can Only Imagine

I Can Only Imagine

“Live every day as if it were your last. Treat everybody else as if they were you.”
-Author Unknown

Does anyone out there know who the ‘Unknown’ author is of that very profound quote? The first sentence is one we hear or read many times each year. Occasionally we spend a minute or two trying to imagine what our last day would be like and then instill that thought into our life for that particular day. But these two sentences together are just incredible. What would our world be like if we treated everyone else as if it were their last day? I can only imagine…

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Freedom

Freedom

At this time each year, a local business places a flag at the entrance to all the homes in my community. It makes me grateful to be a part of such a wonderful country. Recession or not, we’re blessed with so much abundance in the U.S. that it’s easy to understand why people in foreign lands the world over want to come to the land of opportunity, where all things are possible.

On this July 4th we owe a special thank you to all the men and women in uniform, past and present, who have put some real meaning into Independence Day. Not only have they fought and died for our own freedom, but they have also helped liberate people from tyranny all over the globe. That’s the American spirit I’m so proud of and grateful for. Hopefully one day their efforts will finally lead to a real and lasting peace in the world where we can all enjoy the beauty and wonder of our very special planet.

“For it isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work for it.”—Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

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Beginning and Endings

Beginning and Endings

A few days ago I spoke with a friend who had just been diagnosed with colon cancer. Dave will be undergoing chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, and then more chemo. I was a bit shocked by his attitude toward his cancer diagnosis. I could feel the energy coming through the phone as he talked about beginning this unexpected journey, a journey that would change his life forever. He was positive, strong, and seemed to have an image of wellness firmly planted in his soul.

I often wonder why the word “cancer” is associated with an ending instead of a beginning. Dave reaffirmed with me that no matter what kinds of obstacles are thrown in our path, we can make a conscious decision to label those challenges as beginnings, not endings. I’m grateful to Dave for having shared that lesson with me this week and send him heartfelt blessings as he heads down the path to his new beginning. Trust Your Journey!


“All endings are also beginnings, we just don't know it at the time...” – Mitch Albom

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Speed of Time

Speed of Time

While working on some plans for TYJ recently, I became fixated on all kinds of dates and timelines and gradually realized that time seems to pass much more quickly than when I was a youngster. Back in those days the school year seemed to drag on, to the point where I thought summer would never come. Winter seemed to fill the whole year before the first crocuses, tulips, and azaleas would show up. Being grounded for a week or so felt like a life sentence. And yet, the reality is that time is constant and only changes its speed in our minds. The most important thing I grasped during my struggle with breast cancer is that every day, every minute, has meaning. I’ve learned that this moment, here and now, deserves all of my energy and focus. I don’t glance back unless I’m looking for the lessons of life. I only look forward when it’s necessary, and I do so with great anticipation. Other than that, it’s today and every moment in it that counts most for me.

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” –Lao-tzu

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Opposite Day

Opposite Day

Did you ever play that game as a kid? Back where I grew up it was one of the great mind games of our youth. If the boy you liked said he didn’t like you, you’d then scream out “Opposite Day!” meaning he liked you. Of course he’d go along with the game and yell back “I like you!” and you’d reply “I know.” Many of the things we did in our childhood were silly, but they were nevertheless important parts of the journey.

As an adult I still I play Opposite Day a lot, but without screaming the words. If the news says one out of four women will get breast cancer, I then say three out of four will not. If I hear that the unemployment rate is 8%, then I remind myself that 92% of us have jobs. And so the game goes on. I think it’s important to affirm daily that there are many more good things going on in this world than not. We so often get hung up on that one bad statistic, that one annoying problem, that one negative remark about us that we forget to acknowledge and appreciate all the wonderful things happening in our lives. If you feel the need to scream “Opposite Day,” don’t be surprised if someone yells back “I like you!”

“This is my life. It is my one time to be me. I want to experience every good thing.”
Maya Angelou (1928- )

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You Just Never Know

You Just Never Know

I got an email this morning informing me of the death of a dear friend, Linda Smith, who had just finished up her chemotherapy and was moving on to radiation treatment in her battle with cancer. I was blessed to have had dinner with her when I was back home in Georgia this past April. Linda looked terrific, and we spent time discussing her journey which had become focused on her ongoing fight with cancer. Linda was a wonderful lady and a dear friend to all who knew her.

You just never know when that time will come for a friend or family member to move on. So often we discuss the value of living each day to the fullest, but things always seem to get in the way of doing that. The passing of a dear friend reinforces my belief that you just never know when you might be having that last meal, that last laugh or that last smile with someone special sharing your journey. Today is a new day and a great day to reach out to all the wonderful people in your life because…you just never know.

“Many people will walk in and out of our life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” --Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

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Coach to First

Coach to First

On a recent flight I was fortunate to have a bulkhead seat in coach with plenty of extra leg room. Being six feet tall has its advantages but not necessarily in an airplane. On this flight there was a lot of activity in front of me because of the bathroom location opposite a small open area that some passengers used to stretch their legs. The one thing that caught my eye was the thin curtain between coach and first class. You could see right through it and even walk beyond it if need be.

In life we often think of ourselves as being in coach when we’re actually just a mental step or two away from first class. After years of being subjected to arbitrary and sometimes mean-spirited criticism and ego-shattering comments, especially from people in authority, we develop a tendency to shortchange ourselves and lose sight of our true worthiness and potential to make a difference. It’s up to each of us to shake off those negative inputs and get to work being all that we were meant to be in this world.

“The question is not “can you make a difference?” You already do make a difference. It’s just a matter of what kind of difference you want to make, during your life on this planet.”
--Julia Butterfly Hill (1974-) American Environmental Activist

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Go With the Flow

Go With the Flow

Whenever I travel, it’s a good bet that I’m going to meet people who inspire me. In my pre-cancer days, I’d always find myself resisting the little things in life, like a meeting that I felt was unnecessary or a personnel review I wanted to avoid. I didn’t even want to deal with my computer crashing, which leads me to Mr. Go-with-the-Flow. Whenever I had computer issues, I would go to the company’s I.T. department to see my buddy, Kim. I’d walk in all flustered, only to hear his calming “go with the flow” regardless of the seriousness of the problem. After a couple of these visits I named him--tongue-in-cheek--Mr. Go-with-the-Flow.

In the course of reflection during many hours of chemotherapy treatments, I began to understand and appreciate what Kim had been telling me over the years. I had been fighting the current of Life instead of just rowing my boat gently down the stream.

It’s not always easy to accept the timing of events in our lives. Lately I find myself revisiting incidents as far back as I can remember. I love finding the meaning and value of the journey and just how much each step influenced me to take the next step. I’m learning to “go with the flow” while at the same time remaining mindful of my choices in life. And I’m more grateful than ever to Kim for putting up with my computer frustrations for so many years and using those sessions to teach me an important lesson about life. Now I realize it had nothing to do with the computer, but it was all about meeting Kim.

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The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor

Over the weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to meet Dr. Susan Love, who is known worldwide as one of the founding mothers of the breast cancer advocacy movement. She strongly feels that we now have the tools we need to target where breast cancer starts and lack only the will and resources to make prevention a reality. I agree with her wholeheartedly, especially after listening to her speak this past Saturday.

I can only imagine what a world without breast cancer might be like. Intuitively, I feel that there are many elements that activate this disease, and prevention is clearly a better path than treatment. I’m grateful that treatment kept me alive during a time in my life when prevention was not the common goal. Fortunately life is changing for us all, and the future holds great news for mothers, daughters, nieces, friends and women everywhere. Thank you, Dr. Love.

“The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.”—Oprah Winfrey (1954- )

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Imaginary Script

Imaginary Script

I have to admit that over the years I’ve watched soap operas on occasion. In college it was Another World, followed by General Hospital in my 20s and Days of our Lives in my 30s. After celebrating my 40th, I turned to Young and the Restless, which I had actually become acquainted with years earlier. I had a buyer at a large sporting goods store in Atlanta who enjoyed the show but couldn’t keep up with it because of her work schedule. I’d buy a copy of Soap Opera Digest just so I could carry on a conversation with her about all that was going on in the Y&R world. I’ve never had the time to watch these on a daily basis, but you can always find someone who’ll fill you in on all the latest goings-on. Plus, because of a phenomenon called soap opera speed, the same story line can go on for a year or more thus never leaving you out of the loop.

I believe that many of us find ourselves living out these imaginary scripts--albeit not always as dramatic as the soaps--and creating a lot of unnecessary drama in our own lives. Some of us have become so attached to drama that it; has become part of our persona. True happiness and a fulfilling life don’t evolve from artificial drama. The excitement in life comes from the discovery of the script within you, which includes your inner joy, peace, and serenity—your own true nature.

“It is hard to tell which is worst; the wide diffusion of things that are not true, or the suppression of things that are true.”—Harriet Martineau (1802-1876) English Journalist and Social Reformer

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Change

Change

We all know that the economy is going through an “adjustment” right now that seems to be turning everything topsy-turvy. An example of this came to light this morning in one of my many email newsletters. One of the items declared that thirty or so malls in Southern California would be cutting back on the hours they’re open. Wow! I can remember back to my youth when stores were open fewer hours per day and not at all on Sunday.

Despite the severe economic turmoil and the many crises it’s spawning, both nationally and personally, I can see some positive things coming from it. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing that families are eating at home more often and spending more time together. Based on the latest statistics, people are saving more than they have in the past ten years or so. I know some individuals planning their first vegetable garden who never would have considered doing so before now. We seem to be making much better use of our time, energy and money today. In my view, it’s all part of trusting the journey and remaining confident that all is as it should be.

"Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as

you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind."--Unknown

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Laughter

Laughter

In my recent travels I was waiting for a flight and noticed a family that was laughing that laugh we all know—the one where it is so deep and hard you just can’t stop. The family actually had me smiling from their pure joy in the moment. The ripple effect of laughter is magnificent.

I’ve always believed laughter is a wonderful gift. If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that whenever there is laughter in your day, 99% of the time you’ll find yourself focused on that moment. Have you ever found yourself in a hearty laugh and at the same time thinking about something else? My guess is probably not. We all know that when you sneeze you can’t keep your eyes open. As hard as you try, especially when driving, it’s almost impossible. Laughter works just like that. It’s the song of the heart and the reward of a well-balanced life and good sense of humor. We all need more laughter in our lives.

“A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.”
--Laura Ingalls Wilder (1867-1957) American Pioneer and Writer

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Kay Yow

Kay Yow

One of the first things I did in March, 2007, when Trust Your Journey was yet to come to life, was to write to Kay Yow to congratulate her, her staff and the team on advancing to the Sweet 16 in women’s college basketball. I also shared with her the similarity of our paths through life, the challenges of breast cancer and the three simple words that changed my life forever. Most importantly, I wanted her to know just how much she had inspired me and so many others.

Kay Yow passed away today, leaving behind more than just memories. The many seeds she planted during her journey among us will hopefully bear much fruit. She established an incredible foundation that will continue to work toward a cure for cancer. She touched the hearts of countless women who will carry her vision forward into future generations. She taught all who knew her that their greatest challenges can become their greatest opportunities. She truly trusted her journey.

“I am so honored and blessed to have the opportunity to establish the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund in partnership with The V Foundation. Despite all the games that I have coached and all the great opponents that I have battled on the court, breast cancer has by far been the toughest opponent I have faced. My hope is that this funding will help to change the lives of many men and women who face this opponent daily. Cancer is something that touches everyone’s life and it is important to understand that we all can make a difference. Each of you can be a part of finding an answer. Join me today and let’s beat cancer once and for all!”—Kay Yow (1943-2009)

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