Grateful

Grateful

Every day I’ve become aware of the word “grateful” in my thoughts or conversations. Ruth and I are so appreciative of your overwhelming support of Trust Your Journey. We see the results of the seeds you’ve sown in the form of readers on our website, emails we receive from folks thanking us for sharing TYJ, and stories that come to us weekly of individuals dealing with their own life challenges.

I have said from Day 1 that Trust Your Journey is about you. TYJ was always meant to be that little reminder that gets you over the bumps in your day while making you grateful for what you have and, more importantly, mindful of what you can become. Ruth and I believe in you and look forward to sharing the journey with you on an ongoing basis. Thanks so much for being a part of our journey. Needless to say, we’re grateful to have been asked to be a part of yours.

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
--Cynthia Ozick (1928-)

I thought it was only me

I thought it was only me

The other night I was watching a Nova special on PBS about women in Ethiopia who had developed very severe injuries, fistulae, from obstructed labor during childbirth. Many of these women are teenagers whose lives are changed forever by this condition. There’s a wonderful hospital in Ethiopia’s capital, the Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital, working hard to restore the lives of as many women as possible. I encourage you to watch this touching special yourself on pbs.org. The title of the program is A Walk to Beautiful. During an interview with one of the injured women, she made a statement that I had heard earlier in the week: “I thought it was only me.” Most of these women are so isolated from family, friends and any type of medical attention that they think they are the only ones with these injuries, which are in reality quite common in Ethiopia.

As I was getting my hair cut recently I asked my stylist the most common theme, so to speak, of conversations by women who come in to get their hair done. It was the same as the young woman in Ethiopia—I thought it was only me. If I could reach out to all these women, I would reassure them that they are never alone facing life’s problems and dilemmas. There are always others traveling the same road seeking answers, direction and solutions. You might be lonely at times, but you’re never alone. Our journey is unique, but thankfully it intersects with others often enough for us to realize that there are many similarities from which we can learn and gain hope and strength.

“Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?”-- Elayne Boosler (1952- )

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My Dad

My Dad

Father’s Day is just around the corner, and what a great day to recognize these wonderful persons who have taught us many lessons about life, supported our families, and constantly given of themselves.

My Dad died in 1999 at the young age of 71. There’s a picture on my desk of my sister and me sitting on his Honda 350 motorcycle while he stood beside us. I, of course, have the helmet on. I was probably no more than 10, but you can tell I was destined to have my own motorcycle one day. My Dad always gave me unconditional support. If there was ever an argument over my first bb gun, my first mini bike, or my first car, it was probably between my Mom and my Dad—never between my Dad and me. In his eyes I was never too young and even if I was, there was always the opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. Thank goodness responsibility was the key lesson my Dad taught me in my younger years.

Dads deserve their own special day and, in my book, that should be every day. They are a part of our journey from day one. My Dad might have exited his life here on earth nine years ago but not without leaving a big impression upon my heart. For that I’ll always be grateful.

“Those who trust us educate us.” --T.S. Eliot (1888 – 1965)


Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there this weekend. We kids appreciate you!

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First Pick

First Pick

I have many fond memories of my childhood: my best friend Butch, living outside until we were called home by our parents, and playing any sport that was the neighborhood flavor of the day.

I was fortunate to have an older brother who often let me participate in his football, basketball, and baseball games with the boys. I loved sports and cherished the chance to be a player. Most of the time I was only allowed to be a bat girl or watch my brother’s team practice while I sat with a pile of football equipment, wearing a team jersey and chewing on a mouthpiece. But when the time was right for a “pick up” game, I was always allowed to play.

When it came time to pick teams, my brother would almost always pick me first. At that time of my life, I was already full of confidence and thought he was making a great first pick. But as I got older I realized that he was probably risking a loss by having me on his team. I’ll be forever grateful to him for having supported my sense of confidence at such a young age.

“As we grew up, my brother acted like he didn't care, but I always knew he looked out for me and was there!”-- Catherine Pulsifer

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Mrs. Perun

Mrs. Perun

Recently, I was reflecting on what it was like during the holidays of 2004. I was in the middle of chemotherapy, at my lowest of lows in life. I don’t know how many of you have ever seen a chemotherapy treatment room, but the majority of these places are set up with a dozen or so recliners around a room. The nurse’s station is located very close in case any crisis should arise during treatment. Your chemo sessions are usually on the same day so you end up with the same people week after week. Everyone becomes very particular about where they sit, who they are sitting next to, the nurse working with them, etc. It is just like an athlete who is superstitious and performs the same ritual before each game.

I was blessed and sat next to the same lady, Mrs. Perun, throughout the majority of my treatments. If my memory serves me right, she had chemo on and off for over 12 years. Mrs. Perun laughed at anything I said and always had the best attitude toward life. She got on her knees in front of her recliner to pray before and after her treatments.

When I go back for check-ups I continue to try to schedule my appointments so that I run into Mrs. Perun. I haven’t undergone chemo treatments for about 3.5 years, but Mrs. Perun is still in chemo and smiling every time I see her.

I think about Mrs. Perun because she impacted me so much. I was incredibly lucky to have someone so inspiring next to me during treatments. The doctors and nurses are truly angels dealing with patients that have an uncertain future. Keeping a positive attitude in a chemotherapy room is not the easiest thing to do. I used to sit in my recliner and look around the room, at all of the other patients, for hours wondering if I could create something to keep us all going. Could I come up with products that would remind us to trust all parts of the journey?

Ruth and I talk often about life. We all are constantly confronted with daily challenges. That is a part of life. Raising children, taking care of aging parents, careers, illness, someone close to you ill, relationships, finances, sitting in traffic, school, weight issues and the list goes on and on. There are always going to be bumps in the road and some much higher than others. But I can promise you this-- if we learn to trust our journey the ultimate outcome will be all it should be.

I was one of the lucky ones. I had 8 dense chemo sessions, which meant my chemo treatments were every two weeks. I lost my boob, all my hair, and my fingernails but I have my life. It was during this most challenging time that I truly learned the meaning of Trust Your Journey.

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When a bad thing becomes a good thing

When a bad thing becomes a good thing

I will never forget my first week of chemotherapy. As if the cancer wasn’t enough, you suddenly are thrown into the more difficult challenge of dealing with all the side effects of chemo. The doctors and staff like to share with you the percentages of patients who get what side effect. At first I thought it was all a shot in the dark as to who would get nauseated, lose hair, lose fingernails, have a port, etc. But after talking to many women who’ve gone through the experience, I’ve decided that all of us had our fair share of most if not all of the side effects.

In the beginning you’re told NOT to go eat your favorite food after your first chemotherapy session. I was sure that advice didn’t apply to me and met friends at a wonderful café to enjoy my favorite veggie wrap immediately after my first chemo session. In four short hours I was not too thrilled with my decision. I got very sick to my stomach, and the nausea remained with me every day for two months. Naturally I was dreading my second chemotherapy treatment. After I was done, I thought of trying to turn this bad thing into something that would do me some good. So I asked the friend who had taken me to chemo to turn into a fast food restaurant where I ate my fill of French fries. Needless to say, I haven’t had fries since, and that was three-and-a-half years ago.

“A mistake is simply another way of doing things.”—Katharine Graham (1917-2001)

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Moms

Moms

Mother’s Day, which comes this weekend, gives us an ideal occasion to honor our Moms, whether we’re still blessed to have her here on earth or even if she has passed on. Our Moms are incredible with their multitasking abilities and unconditional love. Of course, what we appreciate most about them is that they brought us into this life.

Have you ever noticed how our roles change over time? From birth to our teen years--and sometimes beyond--they care for us constantly. Then we find our independence and take care of ourselves while they do the same. Years later we kids find ourselves becoming parents to our parents. Moms are the greatest gift in our lives, and I feel especially blessed to have a wonderful, loving Mom.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” –Anne Frank (1929-1945)

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there!

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