Coach to First

Coach to First

On a recent flight I was fortunate to have a bulkhead seat in coach with plenty of extra leg room. Being six feet tall has its advantages but not necessarily in an airplane. On this flight there was a lot of activity in front of me because of the bathroom location opposite a small open area that some passengers used to stretch their legs. The one thing that caught my eye was the thin curtain between coach and first class. You could see right through it and even walk beyond it if need be.

In life we often think of ourselves as being in coach when we’re actually just a mental step or two away from first class. After years of being subjected to arbitrary and sometimes mean-spirited criticism and ego-shattering comments, especially from people in authority, we develop a tendency to shortchange ourselves and lose sight of our true worthiness and potential to make a difference. It’s up to each of us to shake off those negative inputs and get to work being all that we were meant to be in this world.

“The question is not “can you make a difference?” You already do make a difference. It’s just a matter of what kind of difference you want to make, during your life on this planet.”
--Julia Butterfly Hill (1974-) American Environmental Activist

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Go With the Flow

Go With the Flow

Whenever I travel, it’s a good bet that I’m going to meet people who inspire me. In my pre-cancer days, I’d always find myself resisting the little things in life, like a meeting that I felt was unnecessary or a personnel review I wanted to avoid. I didn’t even want to deal with my computer crashing, which leads me to Mr. Go-with-the-Flow. Whenever I had computer issues, I would go to the company’s I.T. department to see my buddy, Kim. I’d walk in all flustered, only to hear his calming “go with the flow” regardless of the seriousness of the problem. After a couple of these visits I named him--tongue-in-cheek--Mr. Go-with-the-Flow.

In the course of reflection during many hours of chemotherapy treatments, I began to understand and appreciate what Kim had been telling me over the years. I had been fighting the current of Life instead of just rowing my boat gently down the stream.

It’s not always easy to accept the timing of events in our lives. Lately I find myself revisiting incidents as far back as I can remember. I love finding the meaning and value of the journey and just how much each step influenced me to take the next step. I’m learning to “go with the flow” while at the same time remaining mindful of my choices in life. And I’m more grateful than ever to Kim for putting up with my computer frustrations for so many years and using those sessions to teach me an important lesson about life. Now I realize it had nothing to do with the computer, but it was all about meeting Kim.

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The Love Doctor

The Love Doctor

Over the weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to meet Dr. Susan Love, who is known worldwide as one of the founding mothers of the breast cancer advocacy movement. She strongly feels that we now have the tools we need to target where breast cancer starts and lack only the will and resources to make prevention a reality. I agree with her wholeheartedly, especially after listening to her speak this past Saturday.

I can only imagine what a world without breast cancer might be like. Intuitively, I feel that there are many elements that activate this disease, and prevention is clearly a better path than treatment. I’m grateful that treatment kept me alive during a time in my life when prevention was not the common goal. Fortunately life is changing for us all, and the future holds great news for mothers, daughters, nieces, friends and women everywhere. Thank you, Dr. Love.

“The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.”—Oprah Winfrey (1954- )

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Imaginary Script

Imaginary Script

I have to admit that over the years I’ve watched soap operas on occasion. In college it was Another World, followed by General Hospital in my 20s and Days of our Lives in my 30s. After celebrating my 40th, I turned to Young and the Restless, which I had actually become acquainted with years earlier. I had a buyer at a large sporting goods store in Atlanta who enjoyed the show but couldn’t keep up with it because of her work schedule. I’d buy a copy of Soap Opera Digest just so I could carry on a conversation with her about all that was going on in the Y&R world. I’ve never had the time to watch these on a daily basis, but you can always find someone who’ll fill you in on all the latest goings-on. Plus, because of a phenomenon called soap opera speed, the same story line can go on for a year or more thus never leaving you out of the loop.

I believe that many of us find ourselves living out these imaginary scripts--albeit not always as dramatic as the soaps--and creating a lot of unnecessary drama in our own lives. Some of us have become so attached to drama that it; has become part of our persona. True happiness and a fulfilling life don’t evolve from artificial drama. The excitement in life comes from the discovery of the script within you, which includes your inner joy, peace, and serenity—your own true nature.

“It is hard to tell which is worst; the wide diffusion of things that are not true, or the suppression of things that are true.”—Harriet Martineau (1802-1876) English Journalist and Social Reformer

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Change

Change

We all know that the economy is going through an “adjustment” right now that seems to be turning everything topsy-turvy. An example of this came to light this morning in one of my many email newsletters. One of the items declared that thirty or so malls in Southern California would be cutting back on the hours they’re open. Wow! I can remember back to my youth when stores were open fewer hours per day and not at all on Sunday.

Despite the severe economic turmoil and the many crises it’s spawning, both nationally and personally, I can see some positive things coming from it. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing that families are eating at home more often and spending more time together. Based on the latest statistics, people are saving more than they have in the past ten years or so. I know some individuals planning their first vegetable garden who never would have considered doing so before now. We seem to be making much better use of our time, energy and money today. In my view, it’s all part of trusting the journey and remaining confident that all is as it should be.

"Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as

you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind."--Unknown

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Laughter

Laughter

In my recent travels I was waiting for a flight and noticed a family that was laughing that laugh we all know—the one where it is so deep and hard you just can’t stop. The family actually had me smiling from their pure joy in the moment. The ripple effect of laughter is magnificent.

I’ve always believed laughter is a wonderful gift. If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that whenever there is laughter in your day, 99% of the time you’ll find yourself focused on that moment. Have you ever found yourself in a hearty laugh and at the same time thinking about something else? My guess is probably not. We all know that when you sneeze you can’t keep your eyes open. As hard as you try, especially when driving, it’s almost impossible. Laughter works just like that. It’s the song of the heart and the reward of a well-balanced life and good sense of humor. We all need more laughter in our lives.

“A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.”
--Laura Ingalls Wilder (1867-1957) American Pioneer and Writer

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Kay Yow

Kay Yow

One of the first things I did in March, 2007, when Trust Your Journey was yet to come to life, was to write to Kay Yow to congratulate her, her staff and the team on advancing to the Sweet 16 in women’s college basketball. I also shared with her the similarity of our paths through life, the challenges of breast cancer and the three simple words that changed my life forever. Most importantly, I wanted her to know just how much she had inspired me and so many others.

Kay Yow passed away today, leaving behind more than just memories. The many seeds she planted during her journey among us will hopefully bear much fruit. She established an incredible foundation that will continue to work toward a cure for cancer. She touched the hearts of countless women who will carry her vision forward into future generations. She taught all who knew her that their greatest challenges can become their greatest opportunities. She truly trusted her journey.

“I am so honored and blessed to have the opportunity to establish the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund in partnership with The V Foundation. Despite all the games that I have coached and all the great opponents that I have battled on the court, breast cancer has by far been the toughest opponent I have faced. My hope is that this funding will help to change the lives of many men and women who face this opponent daily. Cancer is something that touches everyone’s life and it is important to understand that we all can make a difference. Each of you can be a part of finding an answer. Join me today and let’s beat cancer once and for all!”—Kay Yow (1943-2009)

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