When a bad thing becomes a good thing

When a bad thing becomes a good thing

I will never forget my first week of chemotherapy. As if the cancer wasn’t enough, you suddenly are thrown into the more difficult challenge of dealing with all the side effects of chemo. The doctors and staff like to share with you the percentages of patients who get what side effect. At first I thought it was all a shot in the dark as to who would get nauseated, lose hair, lose fingernails, have a port, etc. But after talking to many women who’ve gone through the experience, I’ve decided that all of us had our fair share of most if not all of the side effects.

In the beginning you’re told NOT to go eat your favorite food after your first chemotherapy session. I was sure that advice didn’t apply to me and met friends at a wonderful café to enjoy my favorite veggie wrap immediately after my first chemo session. In four short hours I was not too thrilled with my decision. I got very sick to my stomach, and the nausea remained with me every day for two months. Naturally I was dreading my second chemotherapy treatment. After I was done, I thought of trying to turn this bad thing into something that would do me some good. So I asked the friend who had taken me to chemo to turn into a fast food restaurant where I ate my fill of French fries. Needless to say, I haven’t had fries since, and that was three-and-a-half years ago.

“A mistake is simply another way of doing things.”—Katharine Graham (1917-2001)

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Moms

Moms

Mother’s Day, which comes this weekend, gives us an ideal occasion to honor our Moms, whether we’re still blessed to have her here on earth or even if she has passed on. Our Moms are incredible with their multitasking abilities and unconditional love. Of course, what we appreciate most about them is that they brought us into this life.

Have you ever noticed how our roles change over time? From birth to our teen years--and sometimes beyond--they care for us constantly. Then we find our independence and take care of ourselves while they do the same. Years later we kids find ourselves becoming parents to our parents. Moms are the greatest gift in our lives, and I feel especially blessed to have a wonderful, loving Mom.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” –Anne Frank (1929-1945)

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there!

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The Good Old Days

The Good Old Days

So often these days--maybe because of the current economic situation--I hear people talking about the good old days. The memory of days past, when life seemed so much simpler, comes to mind frequently. Some people think it was when gas was fifty cents a gallon, others think it was prior to the electronics that keep us constantly tethered to work, and most think it was any time but the present.

If you look a little closer, you might realize that the good old days are right now. There are so many wonderful things at our fingertips that weren’t available in the past. We’re much closer to eliminating many serious illnesses or at least extending the quality of life for those afflicted with them. We have an amazing ability to communicate with anyone anytime. And we’re all blessed with choices today that just weren’t there years ago.

But more than anything, today--this very moment--will be the good old days in the years ahead. We must cherish the present more than the past. It isn’t always easy to be “in the moment,” but it’s necessary in order to enjoy life to the fullest. Today we’re living in the good old days.

“Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.” --Unknown

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Favorite Teacher

Favorite Teacher

Each of us had a favorite teacher while growing up. I was blessed with more than my fair share of great teachers. I’ve found that the ones that are still in my thoughts today are the ones that believed in me as a kid. Ms. Burden, Mr. Allgood, Ms. Fagg--we thought nothing of that name when I was nine--Coach Gray and Coach Cagle all stand out in my mind. But Mrs. Moore, my second grade teacher, stands above all the others. She had a heart of gold yet none of her students ever took advantage of that. She was kind yet firm, encouraged each and every kid to be the best they could be and truly extended unconditional love to all of us. Who could ask for more?

Frequently Mrs. Moore would ask me to promise that I would be a teacher when I grew up, and I always gave her an enthusiastic “yes.” I followed through on that promise by earning a degree in education and becoming that teacher. It was a short-lived career, just three years of teaching and coaching, but the things I learned have been and will continue to be part of me throughout my life. More importantly, I will always cherish the example that Mrs. Moore set by just “being.”

“The difference between good teachers and great teachers: Good teachers make the best of a pupil’s means; great teachers foresee a pupil’s ends.”—Maria Callas (1923-1977)

The 2nd grade photo, which included Mrs. Moore, is the only class picture I’ve kept to this day.

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What will be will be

What will be will be

Some of my fondest memories are of my grandmother. She had a beautiful vegetable garden that kept her going spring and summer in her later years. I have a vivid picture of her in the garden, hoe in hand and wearing Nike cleats, at the age of 82. She had fallen in the garden a few weeks earlier, and I thought the cleats might help her with stability as she worked throughout the day doing what she loved most.

Whenever I would share my troubles or worries of the day with her she would often say “What will be, will be.” I often thought she was losing it because she remained so calm throughout some very trying challenges in her life, but as I reflect back on what she said, I now have a much clearer understanding of those words. She was simply telling me that what others do with their lives was not my decision. It was more important that I focus on my own reactions to these life situations and reframe the attitude I had toward difficulties.

“It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.”- Lewis Grizzard (1946-1994)

My grandmother must have been eating her own homegrown tomatoes 24/7.

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Human Exhibit

Human Exhibit

Last fall Ruth and I visited “Bodies” the Exhibition in Las Vegas. I’ve always been in awe at the human body, having had many related classes in high school and college that gave me a better understanding of how complex and sophisticated, sensitive yet durable the body is.

The size and content of the exhibit itself was breathtaking and opened my eyes even more to the intricacies of our “mortal shell.” If you clasp your hands, the resultant shape is about the size of your brain. Studying the brain exhibit intently for a while got me thinking of how that modest-sized organ, to a large extent, controls who and what we are each day. Everything going in and out of our brain shapes our concept of who we think we are.

Then I moved over to the heart and was wowed again by the thought of how much work it does every minute of every day. It’s the key to keeping us alive and active, but in it I saw much more than just a powerful pump that sends oxygen and nutrition to every cranny in our body. It contains the fullness of our life, both physically and metaphorically. It is our essences. Imagine what our world would be like if each path we took began and ended with the heart.

“I don’t go by the rule book. I lead from the heart, not the head.” – Princess Diana (1961-1997)

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Life Vision

Life Vision

At 47 years of age I wasn’t questioning my life’s vision. I was in good health, had a great job and a wonderful circle of family and friends. But there is something about the word “cancer” being added to your personal vocabulary that makes you question that vision. Was there maybe an empty space within me that went unnoticed in a life that might’ve had a tad more superficiality than was normal for me? The cancer was my awakening experience. It was the most precious vision exam I’ve ever had and brought me back to 20/20 from 20/30 or beyond. What I found was that my heart was void of nothing. I had simply been distracted, thereby allowing my life vision to get blurry.

I would imagine at some point in a day, week or year we all feel as though something is “missing” in our lives. In reality, chances are that nothing is missing—you have simply begun losing track of all that is within you. It shouldn’t take a major event, such as an illness or accident, to correct your life’s vision. Every day brings with it an opportunity to observe and evaluate what is in your heart. That’s the key to bringing your life into sharp focus.

“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.”—Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
“People only see what they are prepared to see.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

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