Trust Your Journey

2010-06-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

Appreciation

2010-02-26T08:45:00.000-08:00

Appreciation

On a typical day I communicate with many people—friends, family and those that share their stories with Ruth and me through Trust Your Journey. The individuals that inspire us by sharing their journey all seem to have one common denominator: in their darkest moment they found a purpose and meaning in their life. It wasn’t the only meaningful event in their lives, but it was the one that stood out like no other experience. I, for one, am grateful not only for the one big thing (breast cancer) but also for the many smaller things that life has shared with me.

I firmly believe that our greatest challenges present us with our greatest opportunities. We need to constantly recognize those opportunities and know that our lives will be enriched when we follow our hearts. I recently came across a quote that resonated deeply with me because it seems to summarize my core belief about challenges and opportunities.

“We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in darkness.”~Unknown

Catching Up

2010-02-05T17:21:00.000-08:00

Catching Up

I recently attended a dinner with many dear friends back home. Sometimes there’s so much “catching up” to do in a limited amount of time that the conversations tend to be overwhelming. You focus on giving everyone your undivided attention so as not to miss out on anything special that might be happening at that moment in their lives. I love “catching up” especially since I don’t get to see my dearest friends very often anymore because several thousand miles now separate us. It’s a special time that I cherish when I go ”home.”

Time spent with friends is precious, and as we reach certain milestones on our journey, we can never be certain that this meeting might not be our last chance to catch up with those very special people. Paying attention and listening intently to what our friends have to say is not only a gift to them but also to ourselves because, by choosing to be in the moment, we somehow get insights into what our own journey is all about.

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”—Karl A. Menninger

Thankful

2009-11-24T11:51:00.000-08:00

Thankful

This morning, while reflecting on all that I have to be thankful for in my life, the phone rang, and it was a dear friend catching me up on his recent eight-day stay in the hospital for complications from a serious surgery. He had lost a lot of weight but was gradually regaining his strength. He shared with me how much more each setback made him appreciate the health he once had and that he expects to regain after this cancer surgery and related treatments. I told him I “dittoed” that life lesson since it was five years ago this week that the words Trust Your Journey took on such a powerful meaning in my life as I struggled with my own cancer recovery. We both agreed that it was a time to be thankful yet mindful of all the lessons of the journey.

Thanksgiving week is such a treat and a wonderful time to turn your mind toward all that is good in your life. So often we get hung up on a few situations that might not seem to be going our way or on things that are out of our hands. This week, open your heart to all that is good and the opportunity to share these blessings with others during this very special time of year.

“Nothing purchased can come close to the renewed sense of gratitude for having family and friends.”
--Courtland Milloy

Water Under the Bridge

2009-11-15T07:55:00.000-08:00

Water Under the Bridge

It seems that just about every week people share stories with me about past unpleasant experiences that they’re holding onto for dear life. These “tales of the past” most likely change every time they relate them, but the endings are always the same--they’re not talking to or associating with that person because of what was said or done many years ago. Unfortunately, the shunning is usually directed at family members or even good friends that said or did something that was considered offensive. It’s regrettable that those incidents aren’t confronted immediately since many times the meaning of a person’s words or actions is misinterpreted by the offended person. However, even if you haven’t “cleared the air” in the ensuing years, I can assure you that time will indeed heal the great majority of wounds, if only you’ll allow the mending to take place. I believe there are many paths beyond the hurt and strain in any relationship.

There is no better time than today to move beyond your “hold ups” and let those hurts move on down the stream of life like just so much water flowing under a bridge. If we don’t let go, our minds will gradually make these perceived offenses appear much worse than they really were. Often the person toward whom we bear a grudge wasn’t being mean-spirited at all; it was merely a slip of the tongue or an ambiguous statement or action that was misinterpreted. Always try to understand that the other person might’ve been in a bad place at the moment those unfortunate remarks were made. Forgiveness can be face to face, long distance, or just a mental release of the incident. Life is short and well worth whatever effort it takes to repair a relationship. There’s no substitute for letting unpleasant experiences in our past become just so much water under the bridge.

“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”--Anonymous

Trust Your Journey Journal

2009-09-29T16:58:00.000-07:00

Trust Your Journey Journal

We recently added a new Trust Your Journey journal to our product selection. Below is the entry page of each journal. Enjoy!

Journals are reflections in words of our journey through life. This book will eventually be a story about you. The story will unfold when you put pencil to paper and write about events and emotions that are shaping each and every step of your journey through life. You’ll occasionally flip the pages back not only to remember but also to learn and understand. The epiphanies will completely overwhelm the peaks and valleys of yesterday. At some point you’ll become aware that you are on a very unique journey that seems to be enriched by the people and events, good and bad, that cross your life’s path. A journal is not about reliving your life; it’s about personal growth through a profound belief that your mission was custom-made by you. The end result will be a realization that the only action required from you is to Trust Your Journey.

The Bookmark

2009-08-28T13:35:00.000-07:00

The Bookmark

On a recent trip I was seated next to a man who was engrossed in a book. At one point he closed it, lay it on his lap, and the part of the bookmark that was exposed caught my eye. It read “We the people,” and it brought me back to sixth grade where we had to memorize the Preamble to the Constitution. That led to thoughts of key events in my life since that grade-school assignment.

In the last couple of weeks I had reconnected with my sixth grade teacher via Facebook. After 41 years it was a great treat to have the chance to thank her for having been such a wonderful teacher during a crucial, formative part of my life. This lady is on a short list of teachers who made a measurable impact on my journey. She was a true educator who taught with a firm hand yet a kind heart. Every student in her class seemed to feel as I did.

I realize that times have changed, but school teachers are still invaluable because of their many opportunities to become an important part of any child’s journey. They play many roles in our lives but none more important than educator and life coach. With their wisdom and experience they usually see more potential in us than we are able to see in ourselves at that stage of life. More often than not they help shape the general direction that our journey will take. The rest is up to us. It’s not a coincidence that so many of us relish the opportunity to thank our mentors for having cared enough to set us on the right path while giving us some of the tools needed to make it a fulfilling journey.

“That is the difference between good teachers and great teachers: Good teachers make the best of a pupil’s means; great teachers foresee a pupil’s ends.”—Maria Callas (1923-1977)

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Fresh Cut Grass

2009-07-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

Fresh Cut Grass

“Let’s be honest—there is something special about the smell of fresh cut grass! I don’t know why but it is always in the middle of winter that I truly start to look forward to the aroma of spring and the memories I have of cutting grass.”--me

I wrote these words in a journal long ago. Back then, I found great comfort in expressing my thoughts and feelings on paper, and it truly helped me to work through life as I was growing up. Looking back at some of my early journal entries, it’s clear that I’ve always had an inner awareness and love of nature. Nature continues to uplift me no matter what type of day I’m having.

If you’ve never kept a journal because you’re burned out from all the writing you had to do at school, or you’d rather spend your time enjoying the electronic age, I urge you to reconsider. Make a commitment to try it for a week or two, and you’ll be rewarded immediately by learning things about yourself that come out unexpectedly. Years later, as I’ve experienced in rereading my journal entries, you’ll get a true revelation about how much you’ve changed as a person--usually for the better. It’s an exercise in personal growth that isn’t practiced nearly enough nowadays.

I Can Only Imagine

2009-07-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

I Can Only Imagine

“Live every day as if it were your last. Treat everybody else as if they were you.”
-Author Unknown

Does anyone out there know who the ‘Unknown’ author is of that very profound quote? The first sentence is one we hear or read many times each year. Occasionally we spend a minute or two trying to imagine what our last day would be like and then instill that thought into our life for that particular day. But these two sentences together are just incredible. What would our world be like if we treated everyone else as if it were their last day? I can only imagine…

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Freedom

2009-07-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

Freedom

At this time each year, a local business places a flag at the entrance to all the homes in my community. It makes me grateful to be a part of such a wonderful country. Recession or not, we’re blessed with so much abundance in the U.S. that it’s easy to understand why people in foreign lands the world over want to come to the land of opportunity, where all things are possible.

On this July 4th we owe a special thank you to all the men and women in uniform, past and present, who have put some real meaning into Independence Day. Not only have they fought and died for our own freedom, but they have also helped liberate people from tyranny all over the globe. That’s the American spirit I’m so proud of and grateful for. Hopefully one day their efforts will finally lead to a real and lasting peace in the world where we can all enjoy the beauty and wonder of our very special planet.

“For it isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work for it.”—Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Beginning and Endings

2009-06-25T13:44:00.000-07:00

Beginning and Endings

A few days ago I spoke with a friend who had just been diagnosed with colon cancer. Dave will be undergoing chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, and then more chemo. I was a bit shocked by his attitude toward his cancer diagnosis. I could feel the energy coming through the phone as he talked about beginning this unexpected journey, a journey that would change his life forever. He was positive, strong, and seemed to have an image of wellness firmly planted in his soul.

I often wonder why the word “cancer” is associated with an ending instead of a beginning. Dave reaffirmed with me that no matter what kinds of obstacles are thrown in our path, we can make a conscious decision to label those challenges as beginnings, not endings. I’m grateful to Dave for having shared that lesson with me this week and send him heartfelt blessings as he heads down the path to his new beginning. Trust Your Journey!

“All endings are also beginnings, we just don't know it at the time...” – Mitch Albom

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Speed of Time

2009-06-16T06:30:00.000-07:00

Speed of Time

While working on some plans for TYJ recently, I became fixated on all kinds of dates and timelines and gradually realized that time seems to pass much more quickly than when I was a youngster. Back in those days the school year seemed to drag on, to the point where I thought summer would never come. Winter seemed to fill the whole year before the first crocuses, tulips, and azaleas would show up. Being grounded for a week or so felt like a life sentence. And yet, the reality is that time is constant and only changes its speed in our minds. The most important thing I grasped during my struggle with breast cancer is that every day, every minute, has meaning. I’ve learned that this moment, here and now, deserves all of my energy and focus. I don’t glance back unless I’m looking for the lessons of life. I only look forward when it’s necessary, and I do so with great anticipation. Other than that, it’s today and every moment in it that counts most for me.

“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” –Lao-tzu

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Opposite Day

2009-06-11T16:32:00.000-07:00

Opposite Day

Did you ever play that game as a kid? Back where I grew up it was one of the great mind games of our youth. If the boy you liked said he didn’t like you, you’d then scream out “Opposite Day!” meaning he liked you. Of course he’d go along with the game and yell back “I like you!” and you’d reply “I know.” Many of the things we did in our childhood were silly, but they were nevertheless important parts of the journey.

As an adult I still I play Opposite Day a lot, but without screaming the words. If the news says one out of four women will get breast cancer, I then say three out of four will not. If I hear that the unemployment rate is 8%, then I remind myself that 92% of us have jobs. And so the game goes on. I think it’s important to affirm daily that there are many more good things going on in this world than not. We so often get hung up on that one bad statistic, that one annoying problem, that one negative remark about us that we forget to acknowledge and appreciate all the wonderful things happening in our lives. If you feel the need to scream “Opposite Day,” don’t be surprised if someone yells back “I like you!”

“This is my life. It is my one time to be me. I want to experience every good thing.”
Maya Angelou (1928- )

Click on "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

You Just Never Know

2009-06-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

You Just Never Know

I got an email this morning informing me of the death of a dear friend, Linda Smith, who had just finished up her chemotherapy and was moving on to radiation treatment in her battle with cancer. I was blessed to have had dinner with her when I was back home in Georgia this past April. Linda looked terrific, and we spent time discussing her journey which had become focused on her ongoing fight with cancer. Linda was a wonderful lady and a dear friend to all who knew her.

You just never know when that time will come for a friend or family member to move on. So often we discuss the value of living each day to the fullest, but things always seem to get in the way of doing that. The passing of a dear friend reinforces my belief that you just never know when you might be having that last meal, that last laugh or that last smile with someone special sharing your journey. Today is a new day and a great day to reach out to all the wonderful people in your life because…you just never know.

“Many people will walk in and out of our life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” --Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Coach to First

2009-05-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

Coach to First

On a recent flight I was fortunate to have a bulkhead seat in coach with plenty of extra leg room. Being six feet tall has its advantages but not necessarily in an airplane. On this flight there was a lot of activity in front of me because of the bathroom location opposite a small open area that some passengers used to stretch their legs. The one thing that caught my eye was the thin curtain between coach and first class. You could see right through it and even walk beyond it if need be.

In life we often think of ourselves as being in coach when we’re actually just a mental step or two away from first class. After years of being subjected to arbitrary and sometimes mean-spirited criticism and ego-shattering comments, especially from people in authority, we develop a tendency to shortchange ourselves and lose sight of our true worthiness and potential to make a difference. It’s up to each of us to shake off those negative inputs and get to work being all that we were meant to be in this world.

“The question is not “can you make a difference?” You already do make a difference. It’s just a matter of what kind of difference you want to make, during your life on this planet.”
--Julia Butterfly Hill (1974-) American Environmental Activist

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Go With the Flow

2009-04-29T11:26:00.001-07:00

Go With the Flow

Whenever I travel, it’s a good bet that I’m going to meet people who inspire me. In my pre-cancer days, I’d always find myself resisting the little things in life, like a meeting that I felt was unnecessary or a personnel review I wanted to avoid. I didn’t even want to deal with my computer crashing, which leads me to Mr. Go-with-the-Flow. Whenever I had computer issues, I would go to the company’s I.T. department to see my buddy, Kim. I’d walk in all flustered, only to hear his calming “go with the flow” regardless of the seriousness of the problem. After a couple of these visits I named him--tongue-in-cheek--Mr. Go-with-the-Flow.

In the course of reflection during many hours of chemotherapy treatments, I began to understand and appreciate what Kim had been telling me over the years. I had been fighting the current of Life instead of just rowing my boat gently down the stream.

It’s not always easy to accept the timing of events in our lives. Lately I find myself revisiting incidents as far back as I can remember. I love finding the meaning and value of the journey and just how much each step influenced me to take the next step. I’m learning to “go with the flow” while at the same time remaining mindful of my choices in life. And I’m more grateful than ever to Kim for putting up with my computer frustrations for so many years and using those sessions to teach me an important lesson about life. Now I realize it had nothing to do with the computer, but it was all about meeting Kim.

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

The Love Doctor

2009-04-06T13:12:00.000-07:00

The Love Doctor

Over the weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to meet Dr. Susan Love, who is known worldwide as one of the founding mothers of the breast cancer advocacy movement. She strongly feels that we now have the tools we need to target where breast cancer starts and lack only the will and resources to make prevention a reality. I agree with her wholeheartedly, especially after listening to her speak this past Saturday.

I can only imagine what a world without breast cancer might be like. Intuitively, I feel that there are many elements that activate this disease, and prevention is clearly a better path than treatment. I’m grateful that treatment kept me alive during a time in my life when prevention was not the common goal. Fortunately life is changing for us all, and the future holds great news for mothers, daughters, nieces, friends and women everywhere. Thank you, Dr. Love.

“The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.”—Oprah Winfrey (1954- )

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Imaginary Script

2009-03-24T13:15:00.000-07:00

Imaginary Script

I have to admit that over the years I’ve watched soap operas on occasion. In college it was Another World, followed by General Hospital in my 20s and Days of our Lives in my 30s. After celebrating my 40th, I turned to Young and the Restless, which I had actually become acquainted with years earlier. I had a buyer at a large sporting goods store in Atlanta who enjoyed the show but couldn’t keep up with it because of her work schedule. I’d buy a copy of Soap Opera Digest just so I could carry on a conversation with her about all that was going on in the Y&R world. I’ve never had the time to watch these on a daily basis, but you can always find someone who’ll fill you in on all the latest goings-on. Plus, because of a phenomenon called soap opera speed, the same story line can go on for a year or more thus never leaving you out of the loop.

I believe that many of us find ourselves living out these imaginary scripts--albeit not always as dramatic as the soaps--and creating a lot of unnecessary drama in our own lives. Some of us have become so attached to drama that it; has become part of our persona. True happiness and a fulfilling life don’t evolve from artificial drama. The excitement in life comes from the discovery of the script within you, which includes your inner joy, peace, and serenity—your own true nature.

“It is hard to tell which is worst; the wide diffusion of things that are not true, or the suppression of things that are true.”—Harriet Martineau (1802-1876) English Journalist and Social Reformer

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Change

2009-02-20T09:05:00.001-08:00

Change

We all know that the economy is going through an “adjustment” right now that seems to be turning everything topsy-turvy. An example of this came to light this morning in one of my many email newsletters. One of the items declared that thirty or so malls in Southern California would be cutting back on the hours they’re open. Wow! I can remember back to my youth when stores were open fewer hours per day and not at all on Sunday.

Despite the severe economic turmoil and the many crises it’s spawning, both nationally and personally, I can see some positive things coming from it. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing that families are eating at home more often and spending more time together. Based on the latest statistics, people are saving more than they have in the past ten years or so. I know some individuals planning their first vegetable garden who never would have considered doing so before now. We seem to be making much better use of our time, energy and money today. In my view, it’s all part of trusting the journey and remaining confident that all is as it should be.

"Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as

you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind."--Unknown

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Laughter

2009-02-09T07:31:00.000-08:00

Laughter

In my recent travels I was waiting for a flight and noticed a family that was laughing that laugh we all know—the one where it is so deep and hard you just can’t stop. The family actually had me smiling from their pure joy in the moment. The ripple effect of laughter is magnificent.

I’ve always believed laughter is a wonderful gift. If you pay close attention, you’ll notice that whenever there is laughter in your day, 99% of the time you’ll find yourself focused on that moment. Have you ever found yourself in a hearty laugh and at the same time thinking about something else? My guess is probably not. We all know that when you sneeze you can’t keep your eyes open. As hard as you try, especially when driving, it’s almost impossible. Laughter works just like that. It’s the song of the heart and the reward of a well-balanced life and good sense of humor. We all need more laughter in our lives.

“A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.”
--Laura Ingalls Wilder (1867-1957) American Pioneer and Writer

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Kay Yow

2009-01-24T20:03:00.000-08:00

Kay Yow

One of the first things I did in March, 2007, when Trust Your Journey was yet to come to life, was to write to Kay Yow to congratulate her, her staff and the team on advancing to the Sweet 16 in women’s college basketball. I also shared with her the similarity of our paths through life, the challenges of breast cancer and the three simple words that changed my life forever. Most importantly, I wanted her to know just how much she had inspired me and so many others.

Kay Yow passed away today, leaving behind more than just memories. The many seeds she planted during her journey among us will hopefully bear much fruit. She established an incredible foundation that will continue to work toward a cure for cancer. She touched the hearts of countless women who will carry her vision forward into future generations. She taught all who knew her that their greatest challenges can become their greatest opportunities. She truly trusted her journey.

“I am so honored and blessed to have the opportunity to establish the Kay Yow/WBCA Cancer Fund in partnership with The V Foundation. Despite all the games that I have coached and all the great opponents that I have battled on the court, breast cancer has by far been the toughest opponent I have faced. My hope is that this funding will help to change the lives of many men and women who face this opponent daily. Cancer is something that touches everyone’s life and it is important to understand that we all can make a difference. Each of you can be a part of finding an answer. Join me today and let’s beat cancer once and for all!”—Kay Yow (1943-2009)

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

The Puzzle

2008-12-28T10:55:00.000-08:00

The Puzzle

Every Christmas my family sets up a jigsaw puzzle for all of us to enjoy piecing together throughout the holiday season. It really wasn’t until this year that I realized how much meaning the puzzle had for our family and about life itself. I was amazed by how this holiday tradition got the attention of all the family members, from 13 to 83. We often found ourselves shoulder-to-shoulder searching patiently many minutes for one or two pieces. Better yet, when someone eventually found a crucial piece, they’d get on a roll and fit five or ten more in quick succession. Sometimes you’d walk away for a breather; other times you’d sit there contentedly for hours just staring, searching, choosing, and hopefully making a contribution to the overall effort. Occasionally you’d get a little frustrated and try to force the wrong piece into the right space but found out repeatedly that you can’t get into a contest of wills with a jigsaw puzzle. In the end, all the pieces fit together to make a lovely picture that was the sum of the efforts of many family members.

After reflecting on this Christmas tradition for a while, I realized that this is how the journey works. It is comprised of many pieces that gradually form the whole of your life. Those pieces come into your life with their own perfect timing, and it’s futile to try to force something that just doesn’t fit. In your heart you know what works and what doesn’t. And in the end, all of these pieces will form a picture of your unique journey through life. They’ll fit together seamlessly, and the resultant picture will be perfect, clear, and quite beautiful.

“Who in the world am I? Ah, that is the great puzzle!”—Lewis Carol (1832-1898)

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

"Tis the Season

2008-12-16T04:40:00.000-08:00

’Tis the Season

I recently heard about a man who had been in a coma for some time and whose family had tried just about everything to wake him. It wasn’t until he heard someone singing a Christmas song that he awoke and then recovered fully from that deepest of sleeps. I can’t recall exactly what tune they sang, but it did the job, and now he’ll continue his life’s journey.

Christmas songs hold some of our most vivid memories, and I’m sure that no matter where you are or what you’re doing, hearing Christmas music triggers flashbacks to your childhood or adolescence and some especially precious moments associated with the holiday season. Never deny yourself a few minutes to reflect back on those days and all those special memories. One thing for sure, if I’m ever in a coma, be sure to play The Carpenters’ “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” or Andy Williams singing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” I promise I’ll wake up.

“What is Christmas? It is the tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.” –Agnes M. Pharo (19th/20th –Century American Writer)

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinions.

The Value of...

2008-12-03T16:51:00.000-08:00

The Value of…

On a long drive recently I was listening to the radio and heard one of my favorite country songs, “Chicken Fried,” by the Zac Brown Band. Probably because I was born and raised in Atlanta, this song touches many chords with me. Among the many great lines in the song, one of my favorites is “no dollar sign on a piece of mind.”

I started thinking about all the wonderful things in life that have incredible worth but are often overlooked on a daily basis. What’s the value of a piece of mind, good health, your family’s health, friends, the love within your home, someone special in your life or one more sunrise? My wish for you is that in the hubbub of daily living, you take a few moments to recall the value of life’s simple but precious things. You’ll soon realize that they are indeed priceless.

“Well I was raised up beneath the shade of a Georgia pine

And that`s home you know

Sweet tea, pecan pie and homemade wine

Where the peaches grow

And my house it`s not much to talk about

But it`s filled with love that`s grown in southern ground

And a little bit of chicken fried” –Zac Brown Band 2008

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Thankful

2008-11-25T06:41:00.000-08:00

Thankful

I wanted to take this special week and share with you the words to one of my favorite songs by Josh Groban. There truly is so much to be thankful for—Happy Thanksgiving!

Thankful
Some days we forget
To look around us
Some days we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for …

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

The Greeter

2008-11-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

The Greeter

There is a gentleman--I would guess in his 50s--who greets each and every person as they enter a Laguna Beach church every Sunday. His name is Skipper, and he’s always dressed in a full baseball uniform, from cap to cleats. He gives unconditional hugs and wishes all “a homerun day!” with more enthusiasm than someone who just won the lottery. He’s full of wonderful energy and exhibits the true spirit of Trust Your Journey. Skipper has some special needs but doesn’t allow those needs to interfere with his love of people and enthusiasm for life.

Needless to say, Skipper touches my heart. He makes me realize that all is right with the world, and that I should take time each day to count my many blessings. Skipper is definitely one of those blessings.

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.”
-- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (1926-2004 Swiss-American psychiatrist and author)

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Mission Statement

2008-10-30T09:50:00.000-07:00

Mission Statement

Before we launched TYJ we thought it would be appropriate to have a mission statement that would serve as the foundation of our journey. We discussed it for months among ourselves, our marketing company and our dear friends. The TYJ mission statement is:

“To inspire women everywhere to honor their inner strength and celebrate their personal path through life.”—Trust Your Journey (2006- )

There are three key words for me in the mission statement: inspire, honor and celebrate. “Inspire”, which means to encourage somebody to greater effort, enthusiasm, or creativity, was very important to us. We wanted to be among your biggest cheerleaders in meeting the challenges of everyday life. We’re here if you ever need us. “Honor” had a natural pairing with inner strength. This part of the mission statement was meant to be a reminder to “know thyself” and to recognize and use all the power available within you. Follow your heart; it will never mislead you. Lastly, your personal path through life is shared by many through similar experiences, but is truly unique and duplicated by no one. Now that’s something to “celebrate.”

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Symphony

2008-10-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

Symphony

In my coaching years there was always a need to understand a variety of personalities so that I could assist them in basketball or even along life’s path. Of the 14 players on a team, there are only five on the floor at one time, and it’s obvious that many of the 14 will see only part-time action or none at all. My favorite metaphor at the start of a season was to compare the team to a symphony orchestra that has three violin sections. Whether you played 1st violin or 2nd or 3rd, your part was as important to the sound and harmony of the piece as the others. The performance wouldn’t have sounded near as beautiful if one of those three sections was missing. In fact, each individual violin makes a unique contribution to the whole effort.

It was that way with my team as well. Even though some of the girls played very little, if at all, their contribution to the whole team made a difference. Our overall success was due to each girl playing her role as best she could.

Life works in a similar fashion. We’re all important to the whole, and it is vital that we understand our roles in this world. It matters not if you’re in the 1st, 2nd or 3rd violin section. What counts most is that you realize you’re a valuable part of a much bigger picture that’s trying to bring harmony to our world. You matter!

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

No Pain, No Gain

2008-10-14T13:51:00.000-07:00

No Pain, No Gain

Those four words seemed to be constantly ringing in my years when I was young. There were many times when I thought that my coaches, teachers, parents, and other authority figures were in my life to constantly drum that phrase into me. As I grew older, I realized that pain could come in a form that was tangible (broken finger) or intangible (broken heart), and that the gain could be an actual move forward or could masquerade as a setback.

As a result of many life experiences, I’ve come to the conclusion that, often enough, something has to “pain” us before we make a move to improve some aspect of our lives, be it a relationship, our health or a career path. One current example is the price of gas, which pained us all. Since the record high cost per gallon, we’ve decreased our consumption and found alternative means of transportation. There’s a much more concentrated effort by larger well-funded groups to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels by exploring and exploiting alternative energy sources found here in America that are far more eco-friendly. Even though there’s still a lot of work to do, I believe the pain at the pump created a gain that’ll benefit the whole human race. Life seems to work that way and, if we choose to look beyond the immediate, we’ll usually see the gain that’ll come from the pain.

“I don’t accept the maxim ‘there’s no gain without pain’, physical or emotional. I believe it is possible to develop and grow with joy rather than grief. However, when the pain comes my way, I try to get the most growth out of it.” –Alexa Mclaughlin

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Trust

2008-10-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

Trust

I woke up this morning with the word “trust” on my heart. In talking with friends about work, or listening to news about the economy and an upcoming presidential election, we seem to run into this profound and meaningful word daily. Whether it’s a presidential candidate, the CEO of a powerful public company, or a manager trying to convince an employee about job security, they all want us to trust them.

I love that word “trust,” and I don’t use it casually. It was the key word that led to the Trust Your Journey epiphany I had almost 4 years ago. Trust means:

1. Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person (you) or thing; confidence.
2. To rely upon or place confidence in someone or something: to trust in another’s honesty.
3. To have confidence; hope: Things work out if one only trusts.

The one revelation that the cancer path produced was that I needed to trust myself. I now fervently believe that the most important “trust” is the ability to trust yourself, and the second most important is for others to be able to place confidence in you. I also believe that trust is a word that adds so much meaning to our lives that we should always return to its serious core meaning before using it. Based on my life experience so far, I can tell you that everything happens for a purpose. Trust me.

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Breast Cancer Awareness

2008-10-01T17:44:00.000-07:00

Breast Cancer Awareness

It’s hard to believe that October is here and, as you may already know, October is breast cancer awareness month. Trust Your Journey is truly about life, but breast cancer was a major factor that led to TYJ’s creation.

A few days ago I celebrated my 4th year anniversary as a breast cancer survivor. In some ways the memories are so vivid that it feels like it all happened yesterday. I’m grateful that the experience produced Trust Your Journey , three everyday words that now offer support and encouragement to women whose lives are facing daily challenges in many forms.

I honor all the breast cancer victors out there, and I encourage those of you still on the tough road to wellness to take heart from our stories and to Trust Your Journey. You are not alone. All of your loved ones are in this with you, and the TYJ family is here to offer hope, understanding, and the very special “energy” you need to get through this trial. Especially during October, we look forward to celebrating your own personal victory over this disease.

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

The M&Ms

2008-09-15T16:54:00.000-07:00

The M&Ms

When I was about seven years old, if my dad had a meeting at night he’d often bring home three small bags of M&Ms for me and my sister and brother. For us kids, that was a really big deal. As soon as he handed us the treats, we’d go into the living room, open the bag and count our M&Ms. As you might expect, one of us would usually end up with one or two more than the others, and that left the others feeling less fortunate and a little cheated. As I grew older I realized that a package of M&Ms was sold by weight and therefore each of us kids had the same amount of chocolate but not necessarily the same number of M&Ms.

My view of life today takes a cue from the M&M experience. I truly believe that we all have within us the same amount of chocolate. It’s up to us to recognize and appreciate all that we are and can be. There’s no need to sit around and count each other’s M&Ms when we should be discovering our purpose in life and embracing our unique journey with trust and love.

“There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to have chocolate: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.”
--Sandra Boynton (1953- ) American Writer and Illustrator

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Seeing Things Differently

2008-09-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

Seeing things differently

So often we get stuck in one way of viewing situations or life events instead of trying to see things differently. It’s not easy picking up a different pair of glasses to get another perspective on or to find purpose or meaning in all things that happen to us.

Last week I was at lunch by myself and overheard a conversation between a man in a wheelchair and a lady. I don’t know what events confined him to a wheelchair, but I do know that he sees things differently than most in his situation. He obviously had turned what would seem to be a tragedy into an opportunity to help others. He was headed to Africa soon to teach children with disabilities how to make the best of what life had handed them. He definitely did not see his condition as a handicap but as an opportunity to make a difference.

I think there are countless opportunities for each of us to find a purpose in all things that happen in our lives. Many times we just need to take a moment, see things differently and know we can choose to make something good out of just about any situation.

“I could not, at any age, be content to take my place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn her back on life.”
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) American Political Leader and First Lady

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

The Olympic Year

2008-08-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

The Olympic Year

I absolutely love the Summer Olympics. It’s such a wonderful opportunity for people from all walks of life, ethnic backgrounds, and religious beliefs to come together for a few weeks every four years for vigorous competition. It’s great to watch on TV but even more exhilarating when you’re a spectator at the events. I had the honor of attending the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles and was living in Atlanta during the 1996 Olympics. This year, I’ve seen more sports on Olympic telecasts than I never knew existed, like a two-person flat canoe and trampoline competition. If I had only known as a kid that all those somersaults on the trampoline or on my bed could’ve led to my becoming an Olympian. I was clearly ahead of my time.

The Olympics are a wonderful example of what happens when we put aside our differences, albeit for a couple of short weeks, and see the common good in all humankind. It’s competition and camaraderie at its best. It matters not from where you come because the vision and goals are all the same.

“I use sports as a vehicle for learning: Just about everything you want to know is there.”
--Colleen Cannon (20th/21st Century American Triathlete)

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

The Homeless Woman

2008-08-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

The Homeless Woman

As Ruth and I were having lunch with a friend at a table outside, a homeless woman approached us. She wasn’t looking for money but rather asked to use one of our cell phones. As we all know, pay phones are gradually disappearing from most public venues. She seemed to be a bit troubled so I asked for the name and number of the person she wanted to call. I dialed the number, and sure enough John answered the phone and agreed to speak with her. The lady sat nearby and had a conversation with John that lasted at least ten minutes. When she had finished, she returned my phone, thanked me, and vanished into the hubbub of the area.

I have thought about her often since that day. There were many lessons I came away with but none as great as realizing the value of a simple conversation with someone you know. I don’t know anything about this lady’s journey, but I do know I became a small part of it last Saturday by giving her ten minutes of cell phone time with a friendly voice. Ruth and I believe that there are no coincidences in life. We’ll likely never know the true impact of our modest effort to help, but there’s little doubt that this woman entered our lives for a few minutes, and we’re all better for it.

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Checkup

2008-08-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

Checkup

I just got back from Atlanta after having my six month checkup for breast cancer. Needless to say, even when you’re healthy again there’s something very emotional about visiting your oncologist, the doctor who gives you your protocol of chemotherapy to keep you going. The waiting room is a very moving place because most of the 30+ seats are occupied by patients and caregivers. There’s a routine here that begins with checking in and then sitting in the waiting room until it’s your turn to have blood drawn. Then it’s back to the waiting room until your name is called for either treatment or a checkup visit like mine.

On this particular day, there are more people waiting for treatment than checkups. I feel the pain of many and always try to create a higher positive energy for those around me who are waiting their turn for treatment. It’s a difficult but much-needed practice in environments such as these to create healthier surroundings. It’s truly one of the key reasons why Ruth and I founded Trust Your Journey.

My checkup was great, and I’m healthier than ever. I did take away one sad bit of news from my checkup. My chemo buddy, Mrs. Perun, about whom I wrote in previous journal entries as well as in Breast Cancer Wellness magazine, passed away last month. I’ll miss her and will be forever grateful for all she did for me during my own chemo treatments.

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”
--Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Kristine

2008-07-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

Kristine

Our dear friend, Kristine, is currently at MD Anderson in Houston having a stem cell replacement procedure that should give her a chance to live the life she should be living after having danced with stage IV breast cancer. This young woman has enriched our lives--together with the lives of many others--ever since we met her at a conference this year. This gal’s spirit is the real deal!

Ruth and I admire Kristine—her wisdom and go-for-it attitude are amazing. I’ve heard much about stem cell replacement therapy, but never could I have imagined the complexity of the procedure. My own chemotherapy pales in comparison with what Kristine is going through in surprisingly good spirits. She journals almost every day and always leaves me chuckling. Her sense of humor seems to peak when her life is on the line. Something deep within is telling me that one day soon these “challenging” days will be in her rear view mirror as she cruses down the road to wellness with her husband, two children and dear friends right there beside her. Is there any greater visual than that for me today? I think not.

“There are two more major hurdles to overcome---the 96 hours of chemo and the subsequent stem cell replacement, remember those CD34's---those prize puppies are going to come back clean as a whistle and will grow and grow and grow and I will live, live LIVE!!! Yeah for them & yeah for me!!!” –Kristine’s Journal 7/23/08

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Stuff

2008-07-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

Stuff

I was emailing with a friend, currently living with her family in Taiwan, whom I had the pleasure of meeting at the Young Breast Cancer Survival Conference this past February. She recently moved from Macon, Georgia to Taiwan and hired an auction company to sell off all the things she, her husband and two children had accumulated over the years but could not take with them due to space limitations at their new home. The auction company has a website where you can view and bid on items you’re interested in.

As I was browsing the site, I couldn’t believe how many antiques and collectibles were among the many things they were auctioning. I sent an email back to my friend asking her how it felt to let go of all the memorabilia from her young life. Her reply was:

“We just never think one day we could accumulate as many things as we do now. After I had cancer, most of our value judgments changed, and nothing really meant anything anymore except our freedom to do whatever we want. Having a lot of stuff can only inconvenience the situation.”—Ishiuan Hargrove

Wow! How profound is that? Needless to say this weekend is dedicated to my dear friend Ishiuan and getting rid of stuff.

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Rain and Sunshine

2008-07-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

Rain and Sunshine

I write in a journal daily. It might just be a few sentences about a dream or revelation I had, or I might hit upon a topic that keeps me writing for days. When I look back at my thoughts on paper, I realize just how much I’ve grown or changed or just simply how human I am. The real payoff of journaling is that, sooner or later, it leads me to be grateful for all that has happened in my life.

The one thing I truly understand now is that there are fortunes and misfortunes in every life. The rain and sunshine in each of our journeys are there for a purpose. If you become a consummate student of life, you’ll eventually get an education of the soul that lasts forever, and it will help you become all that you should be. It’s important to get into the habit of seeing every event in your life as a win-win situation. If you take away either the rain or the sunshine, the rainbow cannot exist.

“Weather is a great metaphor for life - sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, and there's nothing much you can do about it but carry an umbrella.” --Pepper Giardino

“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.” --Author Unknown

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

One thing at a time

2008-07-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

One thing at a time

I will never forget my reaction to the words “You have cancer.” There’s nothing in the world that can prepare you for that awful statement. I remember having my pity party for about two hours with many tears and fears that my life might end at 47 instead of 97. At the end of the party, my heart spoke clearly, assuring me that all was as it should be and directing me to take a one thing at a time approach. And that’s just what I did.

By making the effort to focus on one thing at a time, we learn to allow the journey to unfold as it should. There’s no need to force or resist whatever might be happening in your life at this moment. It’s better to break it down into small pieces you can handle rather than letting the overall situation overwhelm you. If you think about this, you’ll recognize the many opportunities you have in your life to practice the one thing at a time approach. The opportunities range from planning a big event or getting an education to the most simple everyday tasks. If I had allowed the cancer to dominate the big picture, instead of breaking it down into smaller manageable pieces, I’m not sure I would have learned firsthand that the longest journey starts with but a single step. Thank goodness my heart taught me the value of breaking it down to one day, one thing at a time.

“If someone asked you, “Can you swim a mile?” you’d say, “Nah.” But if you found yourself dumped out at sea, you’d swim the mile. You’d make it.” –Gert Boyle (1923- )

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Grateful

2008-06-26T14:51:00.000-07:00

Grateful

Every day I’ve become aware of the word “grateful” in my thoughts or conversations. Ruth and I are so appreciative of your overwhelming support of Trust Your Journey. We see the results of the seeds you’ve sown in the form of readers on our website, emails we receive from folks thanking us for sharing TYJ, and stories that come to us weekly of individuals dealing with their own life challenges.

I have said from Day 1 that Trust Your Journey is about you. TYJ was always meant to be that little reminder that gets you over the bumps in your day while making you grateful for what you have and, more importantly, mindful of what you can become. Ruth and I believe in you and look forward to sharing the journey with you on an ongoing basis. Thanks so much for being a part of our journey. Needless to say, we’re grateful to have been asked to be a part of yours.

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
--Cynthia Ozick (1928-)

I thought it was only me

2008-06-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

I thought it was only me

The other night I was watching a Nova special on PBS about women in Ethiopia who had developed very severe injuries, fistulae, from obstructed labor during childbirth. Many of these women are teenagers whose lives are changed forever by this condition. There’s a wonderful hospital in Ethiopia’s capital, the Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital, working hard to restore the lives of as many women as possible. I encourage you to watch this touching special yourself on pbs.org. The title of the program is A Walk to Beautiful. During an interview with one of the injured women, she made a statement that I had heard earlier in the week: “I thought it was only me.” Most of these women are so isolated from family, friends and any type of medical attention that they think they are the only ones with these injuries, which are in reality quite common in Ethiopia.

As I was getting my hair cut recently I asked my stylist the most common theme, so to speak, of conversations by women who come in to get their hair done. It was the same as the young woman in Ethiopia—I thought it was only me. If I could reach out to all these women, I would reassure them that they are never alone facing life’s problems and dilemmas. There are always others traveling the same road seeking answers, direction and solutions. You might be lonely at times, but you’re never alone. Our journey is unique, but thankfully it intersects with others often enough for us to realize that there are many similarities from which we can learn and gain hope and strength.

“Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?”-- Elayne Boosler (1952- )

Click on "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

My Dad

2008-06-10T11:00:00.000-07:00

My Dad

Father’s Day is just around the corner, and what a great day to recognize these wonderful persons who have taught us many lessons about life, supported our families, and constantly given of themselves.

My Dad died in 1999 at the young age of 71. There’s a picture on my desk of my sister and me sitting on his Honda 350 motorcycle while he stood beside us. I, of course, have the helmet on. I was probably no more than 10, but you can tell I was destined to have my own motorcycle one day. My Dad always gave me unconditional support. If there was ever an argument over my first bb gun, my first mini bike, or my first car, it was probably between my Mom and my Dad—never between my Dad and me. In his eyes I was never too young and even if I was, there was always the opportunity to learn a valuable lesson. Thank goodness responsibility was the key lesson my Dad taught me in my younger years.

Dads deserve their own special day and, in my book, that should be every day. They are a part of our journey from day one. My Dad might have exited his life here on earth nine years ago but not without leaving a big impression upon my heart. For that I’ll always be grateful.

“Those who trust us educate us.” --T.S. Eliot (1888 – 1965)

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there this weekend. We kids appreciate you!

Please Click on "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

First Pick

2008-06-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

First Pick

I have many fond memories of my childhood: my best friend Butch, living outside until we were called home by our parents, and playing any sport that was the neighborhood flavor of the day.

I was fortunate to have an older brother who often let me participate in his football, basketball, and baseball games with the boys. I loved sports and cherished the chance to be a player. Most of the time I was only allowed to be a bat girl or watch my brother’s team practice while I sat with a pile of football equipment, wearing a team jersey and chewing on a mouthpiece. But when the time was right for a “pick up” game, I was always allowed to play.

When it came time to pick teams, my brother would almost always pick me first. At that time of my life, I was already full of confidence and thought he was making a great first pick. But as I got older I realized that he was probably risking a loss by having me on his team. I’ll be forever grateful to him for having supported my sense of confidence at such a young age.

“As we grew up, my brother acted like he didn't care, but I always knew he looked out for me and was there!”-- Catherine Pulsifer

Click on "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Mrs. Perun

2008-05-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Perun

Recently, I was reflecting on what it was like during the holidays of 2004. I was in the middle of chemotherapy, at my lowest of lows in life. I don’t know how many of you have ever seen a chemotherapy treatment room, but the majority of these places are set up with a dozen or so recliners around a room. The nurse’s station is located very close in case any crisis should arise during treatment. Your chemo sessions are usually on the same day so you end up with the same people week after week. Everyone becomes very particular about where they sit, who they are sitting next to, the nurse working with them, etc. It is just like an athlete who is superstitious and performs the same ritual before each game.

I was blessed and sat next to the same lady, Mrs. Perun, throughout the majority of my treatments. If my memory serves me right, she had chemo on and off for over 12 years. Mrs. Perun laughed at anything I said and always had the best attitude toward life. She got on her knees in front of her recliner to pray before and after her treatments.

When I go back for check-ups I continue to try to schedule my appointments so that I run into Mrs. Perun. I haven’t undergone chemo treatments for about 3.5 years, but Mrs. Perun is still in chemo and smiling every time I see her.

I think about Mrs. Perun because she impacted me so much. I was incredibly lucky to have someone so inspiring next to me during treatments. The doctors and nurses are truly angels dealing with patients that have an uncertain future. Keeping a positive attitude in a chemotherapy room is not the easiest thing to do. I used to sit in my recliner and look around the room, at all of the other patients, for hours wondering if I could create something to keep us all going. Could I come up with products that would remind us to trust all parts of the journey?

Ruth and I talk often about life. We all are constantly confronted with daily challenges. That is a part of life. Raising children, taking care of aging parents, careers, illness, someone close to you ill, relationships, finances, sitting in traffic, school, weight issues and the list goes on and on. There are always going to be bumps in the road and some much higher than others. But I can promise you this-- if we learn to trust our journey the ultimate outcome will be all it should be.

I was one of the lucky ones. I had 8 dense chemo sessions, which meant my chemo treatments were every two weeks. I lost my boob, all my hair, and my fingernails but I have my life. It was during this most challenging time that I truly learned the meaning of Trust Your Journey.

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

When a bad thing becomes a good thing

2008-05-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

When a bad thing becomes a good thing

I will never forget my first week of chemotherapy. As if the cancer wasn’t enough, you suddenly are thrown into the more difficult challenge of dealing with all the side effects of chemo. The doctors and staff like to share with you the percentages of patients who get what side effect. At first I thought it was all a shot in the dark as to who would get nauseated, lose hair, lose fingernails, have a port, etc. But after talking to many women who’ve gone through the experience, I’ve decided that all of us had our fair share of most if not all of the side effects.

In the beginning you’re told NOT to go eat your favorite food after your first chemotherapy session. I was sure that advice didn’t apply to me and met friends at a wonderful café to enjoy my favorite veggie wrap immediately after my first chemo session. In four short hours I was not too thrilled with my decision. I got very sick to my stomach, and the nausea remained with me every day for two months. Naturally I was dreading my second chemotherapy treatment. After I was done, I thought of trying to turn this bad thing into something that would do me some good. So I asked the friend who had taken me to chemo to turn into a fast food restaurant where I ate my fill of French fries. Needless to say, I haven’t had fries since, and that was three-and-a-half years ago.

“A mistake is simply another way of doing things.”—Katharine Graham (1917-2001)

Click on "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Moms

2008-05-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

Moms

Mother’s Day, which comes this weekend, gives us an ideal occasion to honor our Moms, whether we’re still blessed to have her here on earth or even if she has passed on. Our Moms are incredible with their multitasking abilities and unconditional love. Of course, what we appreciate most about them is that they brought us into this life.

Have you ever noticed how our roles change over time? From birth to our teen years--and sometimes beyond--they care for us constantly. Then we find our independence and take care of ourselves while they do the same. Years later we kids find ourselves becoming parents to our parents. Moms are the greatest gift in our lives, and I feel especially blessed to have a wonderful, loving Mom.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” –Anne Frank (1929-1945)

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there!

Click on "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

The Good Old Days

2008-05-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

The Good Old Days

So often these days--maybe because of the current economic situation--I hear people talking about the good old days. The memory of days past, when life seemed so much simpler, comes to mind frequently. Some people think it was when gas was fifty cents a gallon, others think it was prior to the electronics that keep us constantly tethered to work, and most think it was any time but the present.

If you look a little closer, you might realize that the good old days are right now. There are so many wonderful things at our fingertips that weren’t available in the past. We’re much closer to eliminating many serious illnesses or at least extending the quality of life for those afflicted with them. We have an amazing ability to communicate with anyone anytime. And we’re all blessed with choices today that just weren’t there years ago.

But more than anything, today--this very moment--will be the good old days in the years ahead. We must cherish the present more than the past. It isn’t always easy to be “in the moment,” but it’s necessary in order to enjoy life to the fullest. Today we’re living in the good old days.

“Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.” --Unknown

Click "Comments" below if you would like to share your thoughts or opinion.

Favorite Teacher

2008-04-22T14:02:00.000-07:00

Favorite Teacher

Each of us had a favorite teacher while growing up. I was blessed with more than my fair share of great teachers. I’ve found that the ones that are still in my thoughts today are the ones that believed in me as a kid. Ms. Burden, Mr. Allgood, Ms. Fagg--we thought nothing of that name when I was nine--Coach Gray and Coach Cagle all stand out in my mind. But Mrs. Moore, my second grade teacher, stands above all the others. She had a heart of gold yet none of her students ever took advantage of that. She was kind yet firm, encouraged each and every kid to be the best they could be and truly extended unconditional love to all of us. Who could ask for more?

Frequently Mrs. Moore would ask me to promise that I would be a teacher when I grew up, and I always gave her an enthusiastic “yes.” I followed through on that promise by earning a degree in education and becoming that teacher. It was a short-lived career, just three years of teaching and coaching, but the things I learned have been and will continue to be part of me throughout my life. More importantly, I will always cherish the example that Mrs. Moore set by just “being.”

“The difference between good teachers and great teachers: Good teachers make the best of a pupil’s means; great teachers foresee a pupil’s ends.”—Maria Callas (1923-1977)

The 2nd grade photo, which included Mrs. Moore, is the only class picture I’ve kept to this day.

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

What will be will be

2008-04-17T12:43:00.000-07:00

What will be will be

Some of my fondest memories are of my grandmother. She had a beautiful vegetable garden that kept her going spring and summer in her later years. I have a vivid picture of her in the garden, hoe in hand and wearing Nike cleats, at the age of 82. She had fallen in the garden a few weeks earlier, and I thought the cleats might help her with stability as she worked throughout the day doing what she loved most.

Whenever I would share my troubles or worries of the day with her she would often say “What will be, will be.” I often thought she was losing it because she remained so calm throughout some very trying challenges in her life, but as I reflect back on what she said, I now have a much clearer understanding of those words. She was simply telling me that what others do with their lives was not my decision. It was more important that I focus on my own reactions to these life situations and reframe the attitude I had toward difficulties.

“It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.”- Lewis Grizzard (1946-1994)

My grandmother must have been eating her own homegrown tomatoes 24/7.

Click "Comments" below to share your opinion or thoughts.

Human Exhibit

2008-04-08T16:45:00.000-07:00

Human Exhibit

Last fall Ruth and I visited “Bodies” the Exhibition in Las Vegas. I’ve always been in awe at the human body, having had many related classes in high school and college that gave me a better understanding of how complex and sophisticated, sensitive yet durable the body is.

The size and content of the exhibit itself was breathtaking and opened my eyes even more to the intricacies of our “mortal shell.” If you clasp your hands, the resultant shape is about the size of your brain. Studying the brain exhibit intently for a while got me thinking of how that modest-sized organ, to a large extent, controls who and what we are each day. Everything going in and out of our brain shapes our concept of who we think we are.

Then I moved over to the heart and was wowed again by the thought of how much work it does every minute of every day. It’s the key to keeping us alive and active, but in it I saw much more than just a powerful pump that sends oxygen and nutrition to every cranny in our body. It contains the fullness of our life, both physically and metaphorically. It is our essences. Imagine what our world would be like if each path we took began and ended with the heart.

“I don’t go by the rule book. I lead from the heart, not the head.” – Princess Diana (1961-1997)

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Life Vision

2008-04-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Life Vision

At 47 years of age I wasn’t questioning my life’s vision. I was in good health, had a great job and a wonderful circle of family and friends. But there is something about the word “cancer” being added to your personal vocabulary that makes you question that vision. Was there maybe an empty space within me that went unnoticed in a life that might’ve had a tad more superficiality than was normal for me? The cancer was my awakening experience. It was the most precious vision exam I’ve ever had and brought me back to 20/20 from 20/30 or beyond. What I found was that my heart was void of nothing. I had simply been distracted, thereby allowing my life vision to get blurry.

I would imagine at some point in a day, week or year we all feel as though something is “missing” in our lives. In reality, chances are that nothing is missing—you have simply begun losing track of all that is within you. It shouldn’t take a major event, such as an illness or accident, to correct your life’s vision. Every day brings with it an opportunity to observe and evaluate what is in your heart. That’s the key to bringing your life into sharp focus.

“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.”—Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
“People only see what they are prepared to see.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Please click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Clutter

2008-03-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

Clutter

During the past week, I spent time visiting a dear friend at an assisted-living facility in Atlanta. It was great to see her so happy among her newfound friends at the residence. The trips down memory lane and laughs were many and prompted me to ask if they found it refreshing to have a lot of the “clutter” out of their lives now that they had substituted a much simpler living environment for their former homes. To my amazement the answer was a resounding “Yes!” I’m sure each of them misses “home” in a variety of ways, but it’s equally clear that the group cherishes the simplicity of its current living arrangements. Each managed to keep a special memento here and there from the past, but they wouldn’t trade the “less is more” living that they’re experiencing today.

You can learn a lot by spending time with those who are entering the twilight phase of life. If you listen carefully, you’ll note that most of them put health at the top of their priority list alongside their relationships with family and friends. Material things don’t have near the importance they had in earlier stages of their lives. What a great life lesson for each of us as we continue to look for ways to eliminate the “clutter” in our own lives.

“Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity.”
--Albert Einstein

Click "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

OZ

2008-03-11T13:58:00.000-07:00

OZ

For more than a year, the Wizard of Oz has been on my mind. That wonderful movie has endured for almost seventy years, probably because it has an ageless audience. You can rent it, catch it on TV, or Google oodles of information about the movie. That’s a big improvement over the situation forty years ago when whoever had the best TV in the area invited friends over on the one Sunday night per year that it was shown on the tube.

Today I have a very different view of that amazing movie whose many “life lessons” were overshadowed by our frantic fixation on keeping an eye out for the wicked witch. The scarecrow, tin woodsman and the cowardly lion all seemed to be searching for something they felt was lacking in their own lives. But in the end, when they finally catch up to the great Oz, they discover that each of them already has everything needed to lead a great life. All Oz did was make them “conscious.”

I believe that this holds true in daily life for us. So often we get caught up in what we don’t have when we should be turning our focus toward what we do have. Every day we should take that imaginary trip to Oz and confirm the many blessings within us. We all have wonderful things inside of us, and the sky is the limit on what we can do with our lives.

“You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate impression that just because you run away you have no courage; you're confusing courage with wisdom.”
--Wizard of Oz to the Cowardly Lion

Click on "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinions.

Heart Space

2008-03-04T10:23:00.000-08:00

Heart Space

Our vision of our heart is one of a finite space. Yet one of life’s mysteries is that your heart space seems to have infinite potential. When you take on the challenge of exploring that possibility, the rewards of the journey will be many. You’ll find that all of the events in your life--good and bad, high and low--have the capacity to expand your heart space each and every day.

When your heart feels small or somewhat hardened by a setback in your life, it’s a good idea to look at these events as an opportunity to enlarge your heart space. You can usually make this happen by getting back to a place “within” that is peaceful and uplifting. Taking a walk in nature, watching a baby sleep, helping the needy, or just holding a pet can take you back to a place where your heart sings.

Each of us has an opportunity to make a difference in ourselves, thereby making a difference in the world in which we live. If we just make a conscious effort each day to increase our “heart space” ever so slightly, we’ll be in awe of just how much the world around us will change. Just imagine what the world would become if each of us followed this path.

“The spirit of harmony can only survive if each of us remembers, when bitterness and self interest seem to prevail, that we share a common destiny.”

—Barbara Jordan (1936-1996)

Click on "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Collective Energy

2008-02-26T08:50:00.000-08:00

Collective Energy

Ruth and I just returned from the most incredible conference we’ve ever attended. The annual meeting for young women affected by breast cancer was held last week in Jacksonville, Florida. The most valuable lesson I took away from it was the power of “collective positive energy” amongst these women and their caregivers. The one word that comes to my mind is…WOW!

All of these women are in the dance of life with breast cancer. We met women of all ages in all phases of BC working toward a common goal--wellness. Collectively they shared their stories and encouraged one another to realize that “this too shall pass.” Breast cancer is just a part of the journey and was never intended to be the whole focus of one’s life. It can, if you allow it to, provide you with an opportunity to move on to a whole new--and better--quality of life.

If Ruth and I touched a chord with even a tenth of the people that made an impact on our lives over those three days, we are blessed. Every journey story we heard was uplifting, and each woman touched our hearts. We thank you for allowing us to be a part of your collective energy. We look forward to hearing more about your journey in the days ahead, living beyond the breast cancer path.

The New Friends of TYJ

A special “thank you” to Margaret, Michele, Jane, Laura, Jessica, Amy, Jane, Jennifer, Wendy, Sharon, Tiffany, Nicole, Bethany, Angela, Lisa, Judy, Andrea, Carla, Melody, Pat, Sandra and Bill. Many blessings to Kristine and Ishiuan.

Click on "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

It's All Good

2008-02-19T11:13:00.000-08:00

It’s all good

A friend, who is a weekly traveler, called recently so that we could update one another on our lives. I think we’d all agree that in the past few years air travel has become a lot more stressful due to heightened security, delays and cancellations, baggage foul-ups, overbooked flights and a host of other problems that try our patience.

I asked my friend how she deals with these challenges, bearing in mind that she has virtually no control over any aspect of it. She replied that at any given moment you can look around and find a ‘life reminder’ that makes you realize that the travel setback you’re experiencing is a temporary one that will pass. Whenever she finds herself in line with fifty other passengers, scrambling to get to her next destination, she looks around and invariably finds a lesson. Just last week it was a young man who had to manage the situation from a wheelchair. A few weeks earlier it was an older couple that rarely traveled, trying desperately to find their way home from a missed connecting flight. She added that it’s never hard to find a soldier leaving for another tour or trying to get back to friends and family.

My friend’s ‘life reminders’ are a wonderful lesson for your journey. No matter what the circumstances in your day the blessings are all around you. A better frame of mind is within sight or just a thought away.

Note to Self

Change the way you look at things and notice how all things change--usually for the better.

Click on 'Comments' below to share your thoughts or opinion.

Mid Life?

2008-02-12T08:57:00.000-08:00

Midlife?

My niece texted me from college yesterday to let me know that three of her sorority sisters had been in a terrible accident. All three girls died in the accident. This tragedy happened on a Sunday afternoon as the two cars were traveling side by side down the freeway. The car in the right lane tried to merge left ahead of the girls, and though there was no contact between the vehicles, the girls lost control while trying to avoid hitting the merging car. Not only were these girls my niece’s sorority sisters, they were also my sorority sisters in Kappa Delta, albeit ages apart.

This shocking event made me really think about a recent article I wrote on midlife joy vs. midlife crisis. In the article, I was questioning what the midlife age is and why we associate it with crises instead of noting it as a wonderful time in our lives. It’s hard to realize that midlife for these girls was probably age 10 or 11. These types of life events remind me regularly that we never actually know when we are in midlife. The only thing we know for certain is this moment.

For the great majority of us, college life was largely a period of friendships and accomplishments that have left us with cherished memories. I’m sure the Kappa Deltas at Georgia Southern will always remember these girls, our sisters, and will be encouraged by this tragic event to carry the value of everyday moments into the rest of their lives. I have no doubt that this is what these young women would have wanted us to do.

In Memory of Melissa, Jessica and Jamie.

Click on "Comments" below to share your thoughts or opinion.

The Zero Degree Theory

2008-02-05T09:08:00.000-08:00

The Zero Degree Theory

If there is one thing that I know with absolute certainty, it’s that you are currently experiencing the Zero Degree Theory regardless of your age. This theory guarantees that at any given time in your life you’re dealing with a challenge in some form or other. These challenges vary in impact and intensity from a major illness, career change, or serious relationship issues to the more trivial like a math exam, weight-loss program or even just a bad hair day. Sometimes the bumps in the road are small and at other times they look insurmountable. I believe with all my heart that the “tool kit” you need to work through any life challenge is and has always been within you. The tools are accessible at all times and are just a thought away if you need them. This kit contains some of the most powerful tools in the world: inspiration, courage, love and serenity, to name just a few.

I’ll never forget the day I heard the words “You have cancer.” I fell to the ground crying and proceeded to have a pity party for about two hours, inviting family and friends to join in. Then it all sank in; I needed to take control of my life and not let cancer make any decisions for me. I was sure I possessed all the tools necessary to get through this part of my life’s journey. I had the strength and courage within to find my way back to healthy happy living. And that’s just what I did.

There will be many tests and trials on your journey. Every day you’ll have discussions with yourself questioning your own ability to cope with what is going on in your life. Be patient and look within for the answers. They’re all there inside your heart.

“There will never be another now, I’ll make the most of today. There will never be another me-I’ll make the most of myself.” –R.Schuller

Note to Self

Give yourself permission to know there is a natural order to all the days and events in your life. It’s up to me to make the most of myself no matter what comes my way.

Click 'Comments' below...

The Ultimate Outcome

2008-01-29T11:40:00.000-08:00

The Ultimate Outcome

The other day my mind was drifting to some of the many paths I’ve taken throughout my life’s journey. One of them resulted from a decision to play basketball from age 12 to 34. If someone had told me at the outset that I would break fingers, sprain ankles, play to exhaustion repeatedly etc., I can honestly say I might not have chosen that road. The same holds true for the cancer path I traveled. In other words, if we saw the trials and tribulations of a path without being aware of the ultimate outcome, we would very likely avoid taking it.

I have found that the most important thing is to have faith in the road you travel-- whether you’ve chosen it or not--and trust that the ultimate outcome will be all that it should be. If you examine each part of your life’s journey, you can always find a lesson. Some people learn their lessons well and move on with life; others are doomed to take the same class over and over again and barely gain enough wisdom to graduate.

The role of basketball in my life will always be cherished because it provided an opportunity for complete growth as a person by nurturing my inner development. The rewards outweighed the sacrifices by a long shot. The same holds true for breast cancer. I never could have imagined just how much that experience would change my life. The ultimate outcome was a blessing in the form of a brand that represents an approach to life that Ruth and I could share with others in the hope of encouraging them to look at the uniqueness of their individual lives. Life truly is about trusting your journey.

Note to Self
Always be aware of the purpose for the paths you follow in life. Remember the ultimate outcome will be worth the ride.

Life Lessons

2008-01-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

LIFE LESSONS

I have always believed that there are no mistakes in life and that every path we take has a purpose. One of my many career paths took me to Woolrich where I worked with wonderful people, many of whom are still among my dearest friends. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was no longer at Woolrich, but the purpose of that path was soon to become evident.

At one memorable low point in my life I was very sick and severely depressed from chemotherapy. I thought about abandoning chemo and just dealing with the consequences. Right about the time I was going to give up, Beth Hodgens, a sales rep I had met at Woolrich, shared with me three words that saved my life during those dark days -- Trust Your Journey. For whatever reason, those three words gave me all the inspiration and comfort I needed to complete the treatments and get on with my life. I shared the words with Ruth and from that day forward, November 27th 2004, those words have been our companion and have now become our own company.

I tell you all of this for two reasons. One, there’s a purpose for every road you take, and it’s up to you to seek to understand that purpose. Second, you never know what impact you can have on another person’s life through your acts of thoughtfulness. I was gratified yet humbled every day during my illness and recovery by the acts of kindness from family, friends and peers. Then I received the greatest gift of all--three simple but powerful words that changed my life forever.

Note to Self
Send a thank you note to Beth Hodgens for her friendship and kindheartedness. What a great life lesson she shared with you.

Following Our Heart

2008-01-15T14:00:00.000-08:00

Following Our Heart

Ruth and I have noticed that the prominence of our heart logo seems to be a major factor in the purchase of TYJ products by our supporters. Our heart logo was originally designed from a paperclip that you can see at the bottom left corner of the larger pictures on our home page. I’m amazed at how far we’ve come from that paper clip design.

The TYJ logo signifies two things: the heart, which I’ve always seen as the source of strength and the love of all human beings, is combined with a labyrinth of the twists and turns in one’s path through life. We felt that the TYJ heart would inspire women to celebrate both their inner strength and their personal path through life.

Because Ruth and I also believe in oneness with all living things, we’ve become very eco- sensitive. There’s a ripple effect to each and every thing we do, so we assign a high priority to eliminating the likelihood that our brand will have any kind of adverse impact on the environment. We made decisions based on what our hearts told us was the responsible thing to do to promote our product line without harming the world that both you and we inhabit. We want to do our part in assuring that the planet will be left in good shape for those who will follow us.

For example, we use 100% Organic Cotton in our t-shirts, fleece, hats and bags. Organic cotton uses less water and no pesticides or other chemicals are used that might contaminate the earth and eventually water supplies. The inks we use are free of harmful PVC s and Phthalates. Our tags and journal are made with 100% recycled paper and printed with eco-friendly soy inks. The gift boxes and tissue paper are made of recycled paper. The raffia tie for gift wrapping and the first page of our journal contain a biodegradable seed paper. When this paper is planted it grows Forget-Me-Nots. These are just a few of the ways by which we express our belief in the oneness of all living things.

With all the choices we have today, it’s important that each of us continues to follow our heart. It isn’t always the easiest road to travel, but our load is always much lighter when we choose to do the right thing.

Note to Self
Look for ways to make a difference in this world today. Even picking up one piece of trash is a move in the right direction.

Here and Now--Be in the Moment!

2008-01-08T13:52:00.000-08:00

Here and Now—Be in the Moment!

Recently I received an email from a friend of Trust Your Journey who was facing tough decisions relating to her breast cancer diagnosis. Those who have traveled this road of life-threatening illness have had to face critical choices about the surgery, possible radiation or chemotherapy, how to live your life going forward, etc. She mentioned that one of the biggest choices she made at the very instant she heard ‘you have cancer’ was to Be in the Moment.

How profound is that?! Besides the many daily responsibilities with work, family and friends, our modern quick-response society has added cell phones, texting, emails, instant messaging, and we find ourselves consistently distracted, pressured, and out of the moment. Multitasking seems to be the key to survival, and it’s fairly common to be on the phone while answering an email, checking the appointment calendar, or adding to our to-do list. The pace doesn’t change much at home, even at the dinner table. The adults are preoccupied with the day’s events and tomorrow’s schedule, while the children are texting and instant messaging their friends. You could say that each of these activities is a form of being in the moment, but I don’t think that’s in the spirit of being focused, centered, serene, and thoughtful.

We live in a caffeinated world where a feverish pace and multitasking are the order of the day not only for us but for our children who are at an even higher level of “doing it all.” Has there ever been a better time to be more conscious of living in the here and now? I don’t think so. You can enrich your life by realizing that there are many occasions each day where you can make the decision to be in the moment. Don’t wait for a major illness or other life-changing event to make you realize that every day is precious and filled with moments where you can see and cherish the many blessings that are present in each of our lives. Focusing on those “gifts” will help you deal with whatever daily tasks require your undivided attention. It’s all part of your unique journey, and Life is so much more rewarding when you’re in the moment.

Note to Self:

Be in the moment today with all my conversations. You just never know what you might be missing.

The New Year

2008-01-02T05:19:00.000-08:00

January 1, 2008

The New Year

‘Put your ear down next to your soul and listen hard.’ –Anne Sexton (1928-1974)

Wow, it is hard to believe it is 2008. Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were all worried about our power going out and computers crashing the night of December 31st 1999? Anyway, Ruth and I are looking forward to this year and all the wonderful things we have planned for Trust Your Journey.

I was thinking this morning how important it is for us to understand that endings are actually new beginnings. It happens every year at this time but more importantly it happens constantly in our lives. A relationship ends, a job ends, school ends, a season ends, and the list goes on and on. The flip side of this is the beginning of a new relationship, new job, new education and spring is just around the corner. It is important that we embrace change and realize that whatever may appear as turmoil in our lives today can just as easily be the sign of a new beginning tomorrow.

I love the above quote by Anne Sexton. The beginning of a new year is a great time to listen to your soul. This is the perfect moment to do a ‘Heart Check’ and make changes in your life that have be put on hold for whatever reasons. Change can be as simple as adding 10 minutes of mediation to your day or an extreme makeover. The most important thing is to just do ‘it’ and stay committed to ‘it’.

Kind Regards and Happy New Year!